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09:35 PM December 5th, 2017

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By: Raymund Fernandez, December 5th, 2017 09:35 PM

RAYMUND FERNANDEZ

Change! Change! Change! And still some more change …

As it turned out, not too many turned out for the nationwide rallies that were rumored to trigger the declaration of a “revolutionary government.” Still, a few thousand did turn out to declare a revolutionary government, give the sitting president absolute power to change the government, discard the constitution, and rewrite it, as it were, all by himself. And good luck with that. Oh no, not literally by himself. He can hire agents. Why not Teddy Boy Locsin? He’s a ghost writer. Why not Harry Roque? Why not that guy Allan Peter Cayetano coming down in history as the writer of Rodrigo Duterte’s 2017 or 2018 Constitution? What would that look like? What would we look like?

Well, there must be others more talented for rewriting constitutions than I have mentioned, right? Some bright boys from UP or any of the large Manila universities? Why not the majority of the Supreme Court? They could write a constitution to make federalism possible here, finally. They’re bright people, right? What about members of the current Philippine Congress? Why not that Sotto guy? Or Dick Gordon? Why not Villar, or Enrile, or anyone of the Ejercitos? Why not someone closer to home? Why not Gwendolyn Garcia? Oh, those are rich guys and gals, you say? A constitution written by them would just protect the welfare of the rich. Let’s have a constitution written by the poor and powerless, then. Hire those people who load themselves into buses for a day’s rally for the day’s rice. Quite sincerely they shout the slogans of their dreams. Why not have bloggers write the new constitution? Yes, like the greatest blog of all. They’re writers, right? They can write anything they like. They are not bound by facts. It will surely go viral. Cheers! Change! Change! Change! And still some more change …

It will be a dream constitution. You have doubts all will approve? No? But that’s what a revolutionary government is all about: Approval, not required! No! We need a constitution to reflect the dreams of one man for his people, a constitution only a good and great dictator can dream up. That is the logic behind the revolutionary government, no? And we would all love it. And our country will be great again. No more delays. No more red tape. No more pesky check and balance. It’s a quickie constitution. ‘Cause we need it quick. A zipless you know what. A few more deaths, a few more noisy people in jail? There is no other way, no? This revolutionary government will save us, Yes?

Save us from what? Why, save us from ourselves, of course. Save us from the drug problem. Save us from corruption and crooked politicians. Save us from a rudderless economy, stupid! Save us from the rich and powerful. Or those pesky European states that want to look into our human rights record and EJK like it’s their business. Save us from that son of a whore, Obama.

Are you asking me what the new constitution would contain? Are you asking what it would say? No, that’s too complicated. Let it say what we wanted from the very beginning. Change! Change! Change! And still some more change …

What would it do to the economy, you ask? Don’t worry about that. China is coming along to give us new loans. Loans for new roads and bridges. Who cares if a large percentage of those loans end up lining the pockets of the rich and powerful? Who cares if our great grand children will still be paying for those loans. As long as we get our share now, right? That is life, right? That is how it has always been. That is as old as Marcos. As old as the Marcoses. And look, they’re still here. So they must be doing something right, right? That’s right, Change! Change! Change! And still some more change …

Change! Change! Change! And still some more change …

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