CEBU CITY, Philippines – We all have that one person in our lives we turn to when everything feels like it’s falling apart—the one who always has the right words, the steady hands, the solutions, dance moves even to brighten up our day. But have we ever stopped to wonder what it’s like to be that person?
Being the go-to person is often worn like a badge of honor, the favorite person to run to, but they are not really your priority, that sucks.
You’re dependable, strong, and always ready to step up. People count on you. They trust you. They see you as someone who always has it together – but do you really?
But here’s the sad truth: when you’re the go-to person, you’re often the last one anyone checks in on or if you did them wrong, you don’t bother to talk it out, because they think you’ll be alright.
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Fleeting friendships, lasting solitude
You’re so used to carrying the load that people assume you’re fine, even when you’re not. You become the fixer of problems, the giver of advice, the emotional support system for others… and yet, when the roles are reversed, silence. It can be incredibly lonely.
Here are some simple, silent things a go-to person often needs—without saying it out loud:
A genuine “how are you?” – Not the polite kind, but the kind that lingers and listens. Don’t ask how they are if just to make it an intro for you to unload again. Hear them out, look into their eyes, sometimes they don’t speak but their eyes do.
Check-in texts, meme sending: Just to say, “I’m thinking of you,” without asking for anything in return. Or a meme that reminds you of them. A simple “I miss you” even when you just saw each other a few seconds ago.
A moment of quiet – A safe space to just be, without needing to perform or explain. Sip on your favorite drink, hang out by the parking lot, or even a quick visit to a church, sit and just be there.
Permission to not be okay – Letting them know they don’t always have to be strong. They would usually just shrug this off by a joke or by saying “Huh? me? I’m good.” But, this is the hardest part for them, let them know you’re there for them too no matter how little or big the problem is.
Someone who stays – Even when there’s no problem to solve, no crisis to manage. And even after the crisis has been managed. Stay. Because they would too even without you asking.
You bottle things up to avoid burdening others. You smile through exhaustion. You give support even when you’re running on empty. Over time, that quiet strength takes a toll.
Needing support doesn’t make you weak. Even the strongest need space to rest and be seen.
Check in on your go-to person today. Ask how they really are. And if that person is you—please know, you deserve care too.
Let’s normalize checking in on the strong ones. /csl
