DEVIL IN THE CHURCH
Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”
The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”
Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run?”
“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.
Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”
The man replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”
THE 45 DIFFERENCE
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
ADVENTURES IN DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road.
The sign read: “Disneyland Left.” So they went home.
Source: jokes.comedycentral.com