A CHEWY RIDDLE
Q: What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum — and you should be ashamed of yourself.
A LAWYER’S IDEAL WEIGHT
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
THE OLD LADY’S THREE WISHES
A fairy godmother decides to grant three wishes to a little old lady.
“What would you like for your first wish?” the fairy godmother asks.
The little old lady says, “I would like to be rich.”
Poof! Her rocking chair turns into solid gold.
“And for your second wish?” asks her fairy godmother.
The little old lady says, “I would like to be young again.”
Poof! The little old lady is now a beautiful young woman.
“And for your third and final wish?” asks her fairy godmother.
The young woman’s cat, Burt, jumps into her lap.
She asks the fairy godmother, “Can you turn Burt into a handsome young prince?”
Poof! Suddenly, Burt is a handsome young prince.
The handsome young prince leans down to the young woman and whispers softly in her ear, “Don’t you wish you hadn’t had me neutered?”
Source: ComedyCentral.com