PROOF OF EXCELLENCE
A jeepney conductor was collecting fares from passengers while reminding them to hand only the exact amount.
As he droned on about the discounts for students, seniors and persons with disabilities, one of the passengers asked if there were bigger discounts for students who perform well in school.
The conductor replied, “Probably, if they’ll show me their report card as proof.”
EMPTY ADVICE
While inside a bookstore, two single friends passed by a shelf full of Valentine’s Day novelty items like roses, romantic novels and stuffed toys.
While one girl lamented that it only reminded her about her single life, her friend picked up an empty heart-shaped box and handed it to her, saying it symbolized her love life.
Irritated, the girl then picked a roll of toilet paper from her bag and gave it to her, saying she needs to flush her advice down the toilet.
COFFEE DRINKER VS SNACK PACKER
Two reporters took a break at a doughnut shop and one of them ordered brewed coffee which surprised the other considering the warm weather outside.
After a few sips, the female reporter calmly replied, “This is commitment. You get your caffeine fix regardless of what time it is because you love it.”
The other reporter then ordered four doughnuts for himself and promptly washed it down with iced tea, surprising the coffee drinker.
“That’s snacking. You never miss it even if you have a full meal ahead of you.”