MISS U HANGOVER
An office employee called in sick for work last Tuesday, telling her superior that she was “suffering from chest pains.”
The truth, however, was that she still hasn’t gotten over the Miss Universe results last Monday and wanted time to ventilate her bitterness over it.
In contrast, a public official who got invited to the pageant turned it down, saying he was scheduled to attend a more important event on that date.
OUT OF LUCK
A feng shui expert said there was no such thing as a “lucky” color, and wearing red during the Lunar New Year won’t change one’s luck.
When a man who wore red that day won during a raffle, he exclaimed, “Wow! I thought there was no such thing as a lucky color!”
As it turned out, the host did a Steve Harvey and apologized to the man, saying he declared the wrong winner.
ALL FOR SHOW
Discussing the recent cancellation of the government’s ceasefire with the communist rebels, a broadcaster said he talked to a general who dismissed President Duterte’s pronouncement by claiming it was “all for show.”
The general, who requested anonymity, said he was all too familiar with the stories of the president’s kowtowing with the communist leaders, whom he castigated for making all sorts of demands without any positive feedback.
“But I know the president. His pronouncement was made for our consumption,” the broadcaster quoted the general in Cebuano.