Ongkingco
Kevin sat alone despite being surrounded by many of his noisy co-campers, and he was trying his best to hide his tears and sobbing jerks by simply looking down.
“Yo, Kevin! Wazzup! You okay?” I sat down beside him.
“No, Father!” he swayed his head, still looking downwards.
“You don’t look so fine, dude!”
“’Cause I’m sick, Father.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Sick of what, Kev?”
“Homesick, Father!”
Encountering homesick kids during a six-day camp is not uncommon. First timers will always find it difficult to be away from home: without mom, dad, siblings, yaya, Facebook, video games and cell phones.
Thus, it is easy to understand how hard it is to adjust to this sudden change.
“Hey, you’ll come along fine, Kevin,” I tried encouraging him.
“You think so, Father?”
“Sure! There were a whole lot of kids in the previous year’s camp who were homesick like you.”
Oops! I realized what I just said could make him feel worse.
“So how did they get cured?”
“I guess, it’s discovering many other things we don’t realize except when we’re away for a time from home,” I rubbed his back.
* * *
Kevin’s homesickness is a normal thing for children. But what is not normal is the real sickness that prevails in many homes and its members.
In one audience, Pope Francis described how many families today may indeed be physically gathered together for lunch or dinner. But each member is busy with or is immersed in his or her cell phone or tablet.
Although they are communicating through their devices, the Pope observed, they are sadly not communicating with each other in the family. This is the tragedy of our times that truly could be called a sickness of and sadness in many homes and families.
It is primarily the parents’ duty to correct this growing illness. They have to be the first to set the example fostering an atmosphere for everyone to develop a healthy detachment from the material and digital divisions there may be among family members.
But it is likewise everyone’s task, especially for the more mature children, to constantly establish and enrich the neural connections — head, heart, head, hands and feet — to constantly make the home bright and cheerful, using St. Josemaría’s dynamic image of the Christian home.
Such connections are only possible if we are ready to disconnect with the very virtual barriers against genuine human contact, comprehension and compassion.
These cannot be reduced to a mere list of things-to-do because people are not things and relationships are never mere biological switches.
The key to connections would be revitalizing family bonding moments.
I would even dare to say that parents and children have to consider these family links as something sacred since such connections are like a prayer manifested in one’s being present for and in the family.
It goes without saying that parents should never be afraid of instituting family traditions and norms.
For example, during dinner or similar gatherings, each member must strive not to use their gadgets.
It may also help if other forms of media (e.g. TV, background or ambient music, radio, etc.) are not on while having dinner or a family huddle in the living room, when celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, and so on.
Such treasured family customs are not simply rules. They become lifetime channels nourishing an authentic bond of love and sacrifice in and through everyone.
They are the healing salve applied through a silent smile, uncomplaining presence and service, by encouraging and forgiving words and the invisible yet powerful effect of a prayerful faith that buoys up everyone.
These truly transform our homes into sacred and sweet homes.