Stab in the back

Wikipedia says that “the stab-in-the-back myth was the notion, widely believed in right-wing circles in Germany after 1918, that the German Army did not lose World War I on the battlefield but was instead betrayed by the civilians on the home front, especially the republicans who overthrew the monarchy in the German Revolution of 1918–19.”

A betrayal is a stab in the back. It hurts. Especially if the stabber is someone whom you have treated well and even helped many times.

This week I am in a depressed and anxious state. Someone just swept the rug under me, so to speak and the feeling of being betrayed swept me. I value loyalty, strong character and sticking to commitments. And if these are not returned to me, I feel being stabbed in the back.

Now I am in a quandary. Because of going against our agreement regarding business, I am left to grapple with solutions to problem she caused. And all because she wanted my business too!

I had to tell another friend and sympathizing with me, she comforted me by saying, “God knows you have done well. For her who betrayed you, there is this thing called ‘karma.’” Is there a punishment for those who love to stab people in the back?

Even if I am deeply hurt, I would not like to wish evil or bad karma to anyone. I would like to believe that God is the ultimate judge, not me. As long as

I am in right standing and my conscience is clear, I believe justice will still be on my side. It may not be now but with faith, I know God will give it to me. Ecclesiastes 12:14 says – “For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”

I must admit that “friend’s” betrayal has destroyed our relationship. I have stopped replying to her messages. I refrained from doing so now lest I sin in anger with hurtful words that may spring out from my mouth (or from the texts I will send).

I want to heal. And I want to recover without anger or spite in my heart anymore. I know God will not be pleased if I harbor ill-feelings. It is hard. I am human. But I believe in my heart that nothing is impossible with God. By His grace, I will overcome.

I remember reading a quote (Anonymous): “Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife, cut the cord and free themselves from the fools.”

In prayer I told God I want to be the wise one – cut the emotional cord – and set myself free from hate and anger.

The best way to cut the cord? Forgiveness. I do not expect her to ask forgiveness. I will not even wait for that. Forgiveness is something freely given, not forced or influenced. More than two decades ago, I hurdled the same degree of hurt and pain by forgiving someone. It was not easy. My husband’s health was at stake. But I am glad I allowed myself to be driven by God’s spirit and I was able to do it. Today, we have a great relationship as if we didn’t go through the rough times.

So, yes, I know I can extend my forgiveness again. I just need to remind myself that “Forgiveness doesn’t excuse my betrayer’s behavior. Forgiveness simply stops her behavior from destroying my heart!”

A former boss once told me when I complain about some snags at work , “Don’t play the victim. Find the solution. You are somehow a part of that problem so get off it by doing something and not pity yourself.”

We can choose to be the victim — focusing on blame, anger, regret and resentment.

Or we can choose to be the winner — seeking support, healing our wounds, retrieving our power, and moving forward stronger and wiser than before.

I pray that by writing this, I am talking to myself, too and do what I write. Writing is a healing tool for me. And immersing myself in God’s word is a balm to my depressed spirit.

Last Monday, in our spiritual community’s prayer gathering, I thank God for the message that night; that troubles beget blessing. Both run in circles.

Whenever troubles come, be patient and claim the blessings that will come after it.

In the brief moment of asking God why is this happening, He reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11 – “ I know God has a plan. He is in control. As I try to ride over this feeling of being betrayed and believe that after this there will be a new season in my life after betrayal.”

Now it’s time to walk the talk. It’s time to pray for the person who stabbed my back, pray that she will also be blessed and that peace can come over me.

It is going to be a rough journey, I know. But with my heart telling me to do what God would have done in the same situation, I will overcome.