Through the eyes of an idealist

In the early hours of January 11, right at the stroke of midnight, two Duterte supporters and two of his most articulate critics came together for an outstanding orgy of clashing ideas done at the Oval Office suite of the Victoria Court in Pasig. (Re the venue, how apropos, no?  Lol).

The two Duterte supporters are Franco Mabanta and yours truly. His critics are prize-winning author Miguel Syjuco and lawyer and blogger Jesus Falcis.

Miguel Syjuco called me one time from Abu Dhabi to talk about how there’s just so much hate and vitriol on social media, and that while we don’t like what we see, we may have been unwitting purveyors of this kind of online behavior spurred by clashing political views combined with an attitude of intolerance.

Apparently, he and another good friend and fellow Duterte supporter, Franco, were also discussing the same thing — that we should all seek to elevate the level of political discourse and that if it should be impossible to share another person’s views, that we should at least learn to agree to disagree and coexist peacefully.

It sounds naive and idealistic and hard to do but nothing that’s worth doing is ever easy.

And it sure is worth a shot.

That was the idea, an idea Franco made real and, in the words of Miguel, something he made “bongga!” We had lights, make-up, 5 cameras, the works!

Alas, I had to excuse myself from the conversation before we were done so I could catch the redeye flight back to Cebu for some prior commitments.

One of the things I could not forget though is the passion and idealism I saw in Miguel’s eyes. It was something I recognized, something I readily identified with.

Miguel asked a valid and what to me was a rather poignant question; he asked why we support some of our leaders who are less than ideal, who come from entrenched political families, not new names and fresh faces who can inject much-needed idealism into our system corrupted to its core. I’m paraphrasing but that’s essentially what Miguel was driving at and it’s a fair enough point.

I asked the three of them if they had tried working in government; none of them have. I believe that’s where my perspective differs.

I joined government service fresh out of college, armed with passion, conviction, boundless energy and burning idealism. But that’s the thing with idealism —when you have it and you think you practice what you preach, there’s a tendency to start imposing it onto others, and when they fail to live up to your expectations and standards, you start feeling like you’re better than everyone else, like you’re holier-than-thou. Also, you start feeling frustrated, defeated, like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

I’ve said it here before, I caution idealists before joining the government. Almost everyone who joins government service starts out as an idealist — with a mission to change the world — but, sadly, idealists end up as either of the two: “Nilamon ng sistema” (swallowed by the system) or “Sinuka ng sistema” (rejected by the system).

I think it’s safe to assume that, after my storied stint (I left my post crusading against abuse and corruption), I belong to the “sinuka” idealists.

But I’ve had a lot of time to think things through. My realization is this: Preserve your idealism and make sure you live up to it—guard it with your life.

But watch yourself more than other people, do not impose your values and principles or expect them from others. The moment you compare your degree of idealism with how others conduct themselves is the moment you start losing the battle.

During my stint in government, I started judging others whom I saw as corrupt but really, who am I to judge? I was born never having to want for anything, never having to worry about my next meal or whatnot, and so it was easy not to be corrupt. Others are not as lucky.

I am not condoning corruption or encouraging it, no. I’m just saying that I have become less fixated on what other people do and why they do what they do. Imagine if you thought about all of that and processed all of that, God, you won’t have time to do the things that need to be done.

I’ve since learned to take the good with the bad when looking at our leaders. Sure, I still hold them to a higher standard of integrity but like I told Miguel, will time stop, will the world stop turning, as I wait for the perfect leader?  No, life goes on as we dream of Utopia. When will I see the idealists, the romantics like him leading the charge and making themselves viable options for us to choose in this democracy?

Again, I’ve learned to take the good with the bad and while it sure does sound like a compromise, how else can we move ahead? I’ve chosen leaders who, despite having some baggage, champion very specific initiatives that I feel would take us to a better place, that’d strengthen institutions, reform the bureaucracy, spur economic growth, give jobs.

Focus on the goal, the results; let’s not get sidetracked by training our sights on each other, on the ability or inability of other people to personify the principles they profess. Do that and you accomplish nothing.