I am not quite sure if this was a good idea: leaving home a few days before Mother’s Day to be in a Royal Caribbean cruise from Hong Kong to Okinawa, Japan (and then back to Hong Kong).
If you are a mother who is obsessed with her children, who thinks that smelling them in the morning is the best gift God ever bestowed on you, then you know what I mean.
I have never left home on Mother’s Day in the last five years that I have been Nick, Toni and JJ’s Nanay.
I have taken off several times to spend time with myself but NEVER on Mother’s Day.
But it has been two emotionally and mentally grueling months because of household, work and graduate school responsibilities that I also felt the need to get away and press the reset button.
This trip was initially arranged by Jeff, but he had to cancel his participation because of urgent business matters in Beijing, China. Rocky, Wally and Lyn of Royal Caribbean are wonderful people who made sure that everything was taken care of.
I could not find it in my heart to tell them that I am backing out as well.
I have been telling the mutants that I am leaving for a trip weeks ahead of my departure date to condition their minds that Nanay will not be around for a couple of days.
I love being a mother to my three children. I love taking them out to the library and museums and letting them explore and learn a thing or two about everything and anything under the sun and moon.
I love listening to them sing and giggle.
But…
I hate tantrums.
I hate the fact that they fight and punch each other as it makes me feel like I did not teach them to be gentle and kind.
I hate that they are growing up too fast and I cannot barely catch up.
I have always loved children.
I adored my younger cousins and doted on my nephew Timothy like he was my own.
But I never thought of making one. I used to feel that they are high maintenance and demanding.
I mean, they still are.
Children are like that. But… I also learned that they can be molded and guided by their parents.
Bearing children, carrying them for what feels like forever and giving birth to them are milestones for this woman who tried to avoid pregnancy for as long as possible. On Mother’s Day, I am extending my love to my mother, Maria Elena, who got pregnant with me at 18 and decided to keep me despite pressures to remove me.
I am also spreading love to my extended mothers: Mom Aster and Miss Olive, Inahan Connie and Mother Edra, Madame Silvana, Tita Pam and Tita Loy.
This Nanay is very grateful for all of you.