Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again!
I HATE sequels!
For the most part, sequels cheapen the original product and never dramatically advance the story or characters forward into any meaningful ways.
Knowing that, I vowed to never pluck down my hard-earned pesos for another “Mamma Mia!” film, especially one presented with high school level acting from an amateur writer and director. However, all of this and much more comes with a red ribbon on it in “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again,” a thoroughly dreadful extension of a very cute film (2008’s “Mamma Mia!”) that had tons of sing-along songs from the 1970s Swedish pop group ABBA.
“Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again” has my vote for the worst movie of 2018.
How much do I loathe this film?
Well, the original cast is back (ugh!) and clearly they were under contract by Universal Studios to sleepwalk their way through this movie—with the dreadful Meryl Steep back as the pain-in-the-behind Donna who still has no idea who impregnated her with her 20-something daughter, the sugar-sweet and very pregnant Sophie (Amanda Seyfried).
Donna’s lovers are also back: Harry (Colin Firth), Bill (Stellan Skarsgård) and Sam (Pierce Bronsnan) as “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again” also heralds the “return” of Donna’s best buddies, Rosie (Julie Waters) and (yuck) Tanya (Christine Baranski).
Geez, I thought these old wind-bag vampires had long since died.
You mean they were resurrected for this film?
Actually, this second “Mamma Mia!” film (written for the screen and directed by Ol Parker) is a prequel, sending viewers back to 1979 when younger and sexually active Donna (Lily James) meets up with the younger versions of her paramours on that far away Greek island, and of course sleeps with all three … where one of them produces her blushing baby girl.
The dancing numbers in this dreg are atrocious with the largest dance troupe of no-nothing actors ever brought onto a remote stage, filmed for the most part on Vis Island in Croatia. The story is meandering and these senile old actors seem to just stand around with nothing to do but recite their lines, go back to their respective trailers to suck down some canned oxygen and sleep off the seven minutes they had on camera.
The past decade since the first “Mamma Mia!” has not been kind to any of the lead actors, especially the leading ladies: Streep, Taylor and in particular Baranski. They all look dreadful and push their makeup artists to their max just to stay vertical.
But the number one absolute worst was the introduction of Cher as Donna’s mother!
What? This zombie is still alive?
Cher is not just dreadful in her solo “singing” number (ABBA’s super hit “Fernando”) with Andy Garcia (Sophie’s father-in-law) this drunk has-been can barely stand on her feet.
“Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again” is also not a fun movie to have to sit through. My legs were close to petrification having to sit through the dreadful set dance numbers by the troupe as they leapt and frolicked across the screen–more akin to ducks waddling across the screen.
I love ABBA music and as the son of the 1970s, it is the music of my high school days. I fondly recall be-bopping away at my prom to the likes of “Dancing Queen” and “Waterloo,” two of ABBA’s best songs.
Looking quickly for a moment over at YouTube.com, I see that the video of “Dancing Queen” has more than 262 million views.
Well that’s substantially more than this sequel will have as ticket takers.
Just seeing Cher, 72, dragging her sorry old bones up to a center table to parade around had me choking on my caramelized popcorn.
“Mamma Mia!” is a worldwide franchise with the wonderful ABBA music, original movie from 2008 and global theatrical stage play.
Forty four years ago, ABBA exploded onto the world stage by winning Eurovision 1974 with a blockbuster performance of “Waterloo.” Reports have it that ABBA is planning a 2019 worldwide comeback tour (of sorts) so if you have a fix for ABBA’s music and absolutely must have more of this super 70s group (and who wouldn’t) then dial them up on the Internet–or wait in line for concert tickets next summer.
But absolutely, positively stay away from “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.”
Questions, comments or travel suggestions, write me at theruffolos@readingruffolos.com.