Part of my job is to approve online the applications of job-seekers for work from home opportunities through our website. It can be pretty tiring to approve, say, more or less 500 applications on some days.
I have to quickly scan through their profiles, weed out the great ones from the average to the so-so’s and approve. But what lightens my load is when I read funny statements in the applicants’ profiles.
Here are two examples that recently made my day. These lines were written by the applicants themselves as part of their personal description:
“I am systemic, resourceful and hardworking.” (Systemic means something that is spread throughout, system-wide, affecting a group or system, example systemic disease. So this applicant is that sick ??!!)
“I love to work on night sheep. I finished task on time.” (Sheep work on graveyard shift ?? !!)
What was notable is that most of the funny lines I read come from fresh graduates.
It is a concern. Seems like the young generation today is struggling with English proficiency —writing and speaking included.
Blame it on computers , unlimited texting or maybe parents themselves? No sense in pointing fingers now. But something has to be done to stop the proliferation of “carabao English”.
This school year, I was given 12 units to teach English in a local university and I am happy about this. Time to make use of my license! But most importantly, I want to be part of change and improvement and not just be among the complainers.
I cannot promise that my classes will be speaking and writing in super-duper English by the end of this semester but I will try my best to make them realize the value of being excellent in English and not just be a digital slave in this age.
Technology has influenced this generation so much that they have less, if not, no patience and interest to read books, passages or articles of knowledge. The reading copies must have graphics, videos and audio to make them finish reading them.
Proficiency in English starts with reading. What the eyes can see, the brain keeps and then releases when the mouth wishes to speak. So, if no reading is done, there’s nothing for the brain to keep and this means garbage from the mouth.
But look at what’s going on around us. The eyes are bombarded with so much animation, graphics and colors that there’s nothing meaty for the brain to retain. So when the youngsters gather round, most of what you hear are “techy” terms and the latest updates/styles/applications.
I am not against technology. I must say my work involves the digital side too and I love exploring programs in the computer and using my Iphone. But I cannot set aside reading and writing because for me these are skills that will never be passé. Even if one now uses computers or Ipads more often than paper and pencil, there will always be writing involved.
Even digital geeks need to talk to each other so there will always be spoken English involved because technology is universal. Our dialect cannot accurately translate technological terms.
My heart bleeds when I see English written haphazardly, without regard to basic grammar, punctuation and capitalization rules.
In a menu, I read, “Beep steak, medium rare.”
In a restaurant, it says: “Kicheen room. Permision not aloud.”
In a beauty salon, this sign is posted: “Dye, Fachial, Messes and Children Cutting Here.”
Along the road, I was afraid I will see naked people because of this signage that says, “Go slow. Accident porn area.”
On the first day of school, you’d ask yourself if you’re in the past, present or future when you read this in the campus blackboard: “To all students, welcome back for the next academic year. School reopens today!” (Huh? Are we in the past , present or future?)
Finally, this sign at the back of the truck confused me: “IN TRUST WE GOD.”
I will expect that in teaching English this semester, I’ll be encountering more funny lines because of grammatical lapses. I’m not being condescending though. English is not our native language, so errors will still find their way into our writing and conversations.
As a stickler for effective communication, I may become frustrated but hey, I will find the fun in the frustrating. Funny things dissolve tension.
I read in an Internet article that humor is “an antidote to anxiety. It’s just like a tranquilizer, but without any troublesome side effects. And it’s free! You don’t even need a prescription.”
And so, I will work at having less stress in my life and learn to laugh at circumstances. Filipinos are known for this— laughing even in the midst of adversity. I think we will live longer than other peoples because we know how to laugh.
It’s true. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life.”