Dear Ms. Belle,
Is it okay to have a boyfriend now? I’m already 18 years old. My potential boyfriend is one year, one month and 13 days older than me and I really like him, Ms. Belle. I also think I’m mature enough to start going out.
Typical Teen
Dear Typical Teen,
Ever since I became conscious of the opposite sex during high school, I longed to have a boyfriend. Romantic novels dominated my reading list and I would daydream about the great guy who will be my boyfriend, and possibly my husband. Unfortunately, my father was quite strict and would not allow me to stay up late for parties (he picked me up at 11 p.m) and insisted on chaperones wherever I went. When I got to college, my father gave me the go signal to have a boyfriend at 18 years old. I was so excited that when I turned 18, I was literally on the lookout for a candidate.
Some things I learned along the way: The first kiss was no big deal–no fireworks nor shivers down your spine. Having a steady boyfriend would keep you from being close to other guys, even only as close friends. Your relationship will also lessen the time you spend with girl friends— not only because you are with a guy most of the time, but also because you’re likely to alienate some friends since you like talking about your guy all the time.
I also learned that 18 is a magical age, seeing everything in new eyes and positive energy. It would be a waste to chart your destiny when the magic is still working for you. We hardly marry our first boyfriends, and often, mistakes are made.
Believe me, a breakup feels like a super heartbreak for a week, a major heartbreak on the following week, not as painful as the days pass, getting numb until you feel no pain anymore. As a song puts it, “I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.” Then you move to more mature relationships.
As to having a boyfriend now, well, if you like the guy, say yes to affection and companionship. At 18, play it safe so you won’t regret anything in the future. For one foolish moment that you lose your self-control, you derail your whole life.
Ms. Belle