Deadly Terms

5 deadly terms used by a woman:
1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up.
2) NOTHING: means something and you need to be worried.
3) GO AHEAD: this is a dare, not permission, do not do it.
4) WHATEVER: A woman’s way of saying “I don’t care what you do anymore.”
5) THAT’S OKAY: She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.

I would like to apologize that I am not able to note the source of these statements. I know I read this on Facebook but can’t really remember where it came from.
Anyway, obviously it hit me. I’d say they’re true as my personal experiences are.
I used to dislike losing an argument. So I quickly say “Fine” if only to stop the discussion and be the one to say that last word. With a flippant tone, the word obviously does not mean how bright I feel.
I can’t remember how many times in my ten years of marriage with my late husband how I often used the word “nothing” whenever he notices I am quiet and sulking. I could have talked about what’s making me feel bad but “nothing” is the most convenient for me. In reality, when I say “nothing” I wanted to get his attention and wants him to keep on talking to me until he finds out what my problem is.
When said as a permission, you say “Go ahead” with your voice rising at the end of sentence. Otherwise, I agree it’s more of a warning. This is a favorite line I use with my children when they insist on running too fast, walk barefoot, climb the tree or cross the street ahead of me. I remember they will still do it despite the firmness in my tone. But when they get into a mess because they went ahead against my will, they began to believe that mommy knows best and when she says “Go ahead” best not to do anything.
“Whatever” is a term of the new generation. I admit I fell into the trap of just dropping this popular word just for the fun of it. But I also realized that some people may not like it being said to them.
The last term is not something I use. When I say “okay” I really mean that I am well or something is good, so nothing to worry about. I’m not being righteous but I don’t want to wish ill on anyone or wait till bad “karma” gets to them.
I think this is the WORST thing that we can do is wish something bad happens to someone.
This makes me think why have we become a vengeful society?
Bad things happen to everyone, whether they’re good or bad. Well, they happen less severely to good people, but they still happen. We are all in this world and as long as we are here, we are bound to experience bad things. Wait till we get to heaven. It will be all good.
So meantime, we just have to learn from bad things that happen, adapt and move on. No sense in getting angry and say “That’s ok” when it’s not and we secretly wish that the same bad things happen to other people.
Anger based on vengeance is reserved for God alone. Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”.
And when God repays it’s not when we want it to be, but in His own time. If we take vengeance on someone in our anger, we have stepped over the line where God is concerned. God has set aside vengeance for His own use. Do not let your anger result in a vengeful act. It is good to be more truthful, honest and kind when we say “That’s okay.” I will also tell that to myself as often as I can.
So I am amused by the first four terms that are often used by women. Admittedly, so true. Women have an interesting language. Men have to be sensitive enough to read between the lines, so to speak, to understand what we are really saying.
Unfortunately, men are created different from women and so when they fail to get what our words actually mean, then that spells chaos, misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
But that is another discussion I’d write about in my future columns.
For now, thank God for creating us as women. But with it comes responsibility in the words we say.