I have long wondered why David felt guilty when he ordered a count of the number of people left with him after engaging in several battles. My simple mind thinks there’s nothing wrong when we want to conduct a census, like in companies, knowing the number of employees is basic information. Same in a barangay or for the country as a whole. It is a normal act to get statistics.
So why did David’s conscience bother him so much that he cried out to God: “I have committed a terrible sin in doing this! Please forgive me. I have acted foolishly” (2 Samuel 24:2).
When I came across the story again during last Wednesday’s reading, I began to look for commentaries so I can better understand.
One article clearly stated that it was the pride of David’s heart that was his sin not the act of counting his people. After winning so many battles, his intention was to prove to himself that he was a formidable leader with many men behind him.
True, what we may think as a harmless act or a small offense, may be a great sin in the eyes of God. He sees our thoughts and intents of our hearts so nothing can really be hidden from Him.
Pride is a deadly sin. I was once in its sway. And I thought I was able to hide it from God.
I was secretly harboring a grudge, or I think the better word is spite, against a person. I felt I was being victimized by her vicious talk. I could have let it pass but when the gossip started to revolve around my family, I was ready to fight.
But because my late husband would get involved when I do so, I kept the bad feeling in my heart….for years and years.
Until my husband fell very ill and my spiritual counselors told me to let go of bitterness, hurt or anger that I may have towards other people. It’s as if they know what’s in my heart!
They said if I go and patch up things with this person, it could be a channel for my husband’s healing. Me? Approaching a person who had hurt me and my family? I refused to forget and definitely could not forgive. I insisted I was in the right so I would never make the first move.
Wrong. Pride in my heart was gnawing inside me. I felt the heaviness. Like David, I knew I was sinning and, feeling guilty, I asked God what to do.
I heard His simple whisper: “Go. Make friends.”
Seeing my troubled face, my sick husband just said: “Please… for my sake.”
So one morning, I dragged my feet to this person’s door. But not after putting it off a number of times.
What happened next is history. This person and I are great friends today. My husband got well. And I was at peace with the world.
This year, as Pope Francis declared, is the year of mercy and compassion. God is merciful and compassionate. Despite all our sins, He would easily forgive us, and best of all, forgets them. We get a clean slate. We just have to repent and confess our sins.
It is clear now why David is known as a man after God’s heart. He could not afford to offend God. Without being told, he was able to discern that he had sinned. There was no hesitancy or pushing involved. He went down on his knees without any prompting and asked for God’s forgiveness.
I pray I can have that kind of heart—humble enough to think of God’s joy rather than my pleasure.
I pray the future leader(s) who will lead our country will have that kind of heart, too.
The rapid destruction by the pestilence brought down upon David’s people as a punishment for his sin shows how quickly God can bring down the proudest sinners. I pray we, as a nation, will not get to that point. May God make our minds and hearts discerning enough to choose a leader after His heart.
David’s story is an object lesson on pride and repentance. It is also a lesson for our nation that has been yearning to be led by a man after God’s heart, too.
Let’s lay aside our pride and get down on our knees more often and pray.