“I knew my limitations even at that time that we were in a relationship,” she said. (CDN PHOTO/JUNJIE MENDOZA)
Mayor Mike Rama had once told her that she was his conscience.
But Joy Pesquera was more than that to him.
She was his troubleshooter, organizer, runner and accountant. And lover.
After 10 years, the relationship was over.
There was neither a discussion or a formal breakup.
“I just considered it over sa (during) Soca (State of City Address). No, we didn’t talk. I just considered it over,” she said.
Asked what happened during Soca on July 4, 2015 at Plaza Independencia, Pesquera just smiled.
Nothing extraordinary happened except that Rama invited Catbalogan City Mayor Stephany Uy-Tan to join him and his family for a group photo onstage after his speech. Although surprised, Tan obliged.
Pesquera declined to comment about Rama’s relationship with Tan, saying he should be the one to answer that.
Asked if it was connected to her decision to let go, she replied: “yes.” “I choose to be happy,” she added with a smile.
Pesquera first met Rama during her “baptism of fire” in 1994 when she fought for a place in the barangay council of Kinasang-an following a bitter electoral contest.
The Board of Canvassers declared someone else as number-seven councilor of Kinasang-an.
When Pesquera, then 23, checked the results, it turned out that her total number of votes was wrongly computed.
The BOC recomputed the votes and discovered that 54 votes were shaved off from Pesquera’s.
The BOC made an amended proclamation and forwarded the same to the Commission on Elections (Comelec) which later rendered a decision that she won.
The facsimile copy, however, never reached her, prompting her to file a petition.
In the meantime, Pesquera endured being humiliated by the barangay captain who would invite people to council sessions to embarrass her.
“Day, ngano nitunga man ka? Pildi man ka. Di ba law student man ka kasabot ta ka ug balaod. Pildi ka (Girl, why are you here when you lost in the polls? You are a law student so you should understand the law. You lost),” she recalled the barangay captain as saying.
But she stood her ground and told everyone in the session hall that since she knew the law, she had to be there because she won.
After five months, the Comelec junked her petition because the poll body had already rendered an earlier decision that she won.
The victory was bittersweet although it was in one of the packed sessions where she first saw Rama because he was among those invited by the barangay captain to witness her public humiliation.
GOSSIP FODDER
He later told Pesquera that he remembered her name although he could not recall where he first saw her.
The two met in 1998 when Pesquera was invited by the Bando Osmeña-Pundok Kauswagan (BO-PK) to run for councilor because the party needed young blood in their slate.
At that time, Rama was with BO-PK and was gunning for a third term in the city council.
A year after winning the polls, the two councilors became law partners.
But their relationship did not start until six years later.
At that time, Rama was already vice mayor and she, a third term councilor.
Their relationship became a favorite subject in blind items.
After her term ended in 2007, Pesquera chose not to run for any elective post because she wanted to concentrate on helping Rama especially when the latter was elected mayor which she considered a “crucial time” for him.
But in doing so, she was accused as a meddler especially that she would be sent to troubleshoot some problems.
She admitted there were people who questioned her authority but she stressed she never went beyond what was proper.
“I knew my limitations even at that time that we were in a relationship,” she said.
“I never meddled in his decisions.” Pesquera stressed that when they were together, everything she did was with Rama’s consent because she only acted on his orders.
If she was not asked to do something, she added, she would not do it.
SUPPORTING ROLE
Pesquera admitted Rama never once came out to defend her amid the often nasty things that were said against her.
But she took in all the criticisms because she learned to become subservient to Rama and took a “supporting role” in their relationship.
“Even if we are in a modern world, domineering gyud ang laki and as babaye, we know when kita magpaubos. At the start, I was not like that but eventually I learned,” she said.
And of course, she did so because she loved him and thought that he was the one whom she would marry.
Then Soca happened.
Seven months later, Pesquera continues to help Rama because she said she believes in what he stands for, his advocacies, what he has done for the city and what he can still do for the city.
She also decided to run again for councilor under the same party with Rama because she felt it was time and she always loved serving the people.
Pesquera said she learned how to delineate her personal life from her political life especially that she is not an ordinary member of Team Rama.
She was with Rama when he decided to break out from BOPK and formed his own local party in 2010.
If she may sound like defending Rama now, it is because she is with Team Rama and secretary general in Central Visayas of the United Nationalist Alliance (UNA), which is affiliated with their local party.
But there was no bitterness following the end of their relationship.
Pesquera said she has learned a lot from Rama specifically in her organizational skills which were enhanced when she was with him.
“I have also to accept the fact that our lives will always be intertwined because we are in the same party,” she added.
MOVING ON
At 45, she still hopes to find someone and settle down. She said in jest that she didn’t want to be unmarried by age 60 because people might say that she became a spinster because she is “ngil-ad ug batasan.”
Asked if she thought about getting back with Rama, Pesquera replied “no,” although no one knows what fate could bring.
But in the meantime, she has moved on. “I have to let go…because if I will dwell on hate, I cannot move forward. I cannot love again.”
“Sometimes if you keep on dwelling (on hate), you cannot see the goodness in other people. If you want love, you love. If you love, you beget love.”