Lilly Alfante, a breast cancer patient from Barangay Inayagan, Naga City in southern Cebu, is practicing self-care medication through the RAFI-initiated program (CONTRIBUTED).
Fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and jealousy are common emotions that any individual may find difficult to handle.
They are said to be innate, which simply means that anyone can encounter and carry them — anytime, anywhere.
For cancer patients, studies have shown that the presence of these negative emotions becomes heavier to bear than the average emotions.
And in many cases, they begin to dwell in the patient’s head.
In medical oncology, it has been found that when someone’s life is already marked by mature stages of cancer and death is just around the corner, these troubling sets of emotions are inevitable.
Self-care meditation
From different parts of Metro Cebu, a total of 34 cancer patients gathered inside the conference hall of Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc. (RAFI) Development Studies Center along Lopez Jaena Street, Cebu City for a free, self-care meditation program.
The patients who joined the program were instructed by Dr. Buenaventura “Bill” Ramos, a medical oncologist trained in the United States, to breathe in and out.
This breathing exercise, Dr. Ramos said, was among the simplest ways to relieve the burden brought about by fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and jealousy.
Most of all, an attitude of gratefulness for every blessing has been found to take much of the anxiety away.
“Be grateful for every blessing you receive. By doing so, you can actually start by journaling your life and ending your entries with ‘thank yous’,” Dr. Ramos told participants that day.
Ronald delos Reyes, program coordinator of RAFI’s Eduardo Aboitiz Cancer Studies, said the foundation has so far recorded 2,300 cancer incidents in Metro Cebu, and more than 100 deaths this year.
“Most of the cases are actually breast cancer,” Delos Reyes said.
Just before the second part of the meditation segment began, Cebu Daily News tried to engage some participants in a talk.
“I’m a Stage 4 thyroid cancer patient and I just knew about it last year,” said Marilyn Villafuerte of Tayud, Consolacion town, as she kept her head bowed, saying no more to people outside of her support group.
For most cancer patients, it takes time for them to open up about their feelings, afraid of being judged wrongly by those who could not understand the situation that they are in, delos Reyes later explained to CDN.
As the breathing exercises began, most of the patients pursed their lips, except for one particular woman whose curly hair was trimmed to a bob smiling with her eyes closed.
Laughter, the best medicine
She had a pink shawl wrapped around her neck, a bright contrast to the pale, beige blouse she was wearing.
More than a year ago, Lily Alfante, a Stage 2B breast cancer patient, began to notice recurring small, painful stabs in her left breast.
“We went to a private hospital in Cebu City and consulted a physician. She told me the pain was a symptom of possible breast cancer so she immediately prescribed medications that I still was not familiar with,” Alfante narrated.
Two months after the check-up, the 52 year-old resident of Barangay Inayagan, Naga City realized that the medicines recommended by her doctor did nothing to suppress the pain.
In February 2015, Alfante decided to undergo a mammogram in another private hospital in Cebu City.
“It was found out that my previous doctor gave me the wrong medicines and I was really angry! I went to the hospital where she worked to file a complaint but no actions were taken. Anyway, I was diagnosed with Stage 2B cancer last Feb. 29, 2015,” Alfante said in Cebuano.
However, after the discovery and the initial shock, she said she learned to accept her fate.
“I accepted my fate. I already had this kind of attitude way back in 1983 when I was going into adulthood and suffered from psoriasis,” she said.
“I was afraid of people mocking me because of how I looked. But I was lucky to find a husband — a very, handsome husband for that matter. I mean, I have to choose someone good-looking if I wanted to have beautiful children, di ba?” she added with a laugh.
Their marriage bore four children.
Alfante said that she remains very grateful for a family who has supported her from the moment they knew about her condition.
“My husband, even though he is fond of drinking and playing basketball outside our house, never left me for another woman. I said, ‘If you find someone better than me, then tell me honestly. Do not fool me’,” she narrated with a wide grin and another round of laughter.
On death, Alfante said while shrugging, “I know I’m going to die and I know of what cause. What about others? What about you? You never know the moment you step out of this building, you’ll die — probably get run over by a car or whatever.”
The former factory worker said that if there was one thing she accomplished in life, that would be her ability to keep a positive disposition on things.
“I’ve been through so many circumstances and challenges, and learning I have breast cancer is just one of them. I want to be happy while I’m still live. We all die, that’s the truth. We all go there,” Alfante said.
Upon seeing the gloomy faces of some of her new-found friends who are battling cancer like her, Alfante said she tried to help them by encouraging them to be grateful for having lived a fulfilled life.
“Life can be very different if you start accepting it wholly and still be optimistic,” Alfante said.
When Alfante invited her friends to start joining support groups and self-care meditation classes, she said it actually bolstered her optimism in life.
Sharing experience
Dr. Ramos narrated what it was like to practice self-care meditation and share it to people.
“Before you can actually teach people about it, you have to train yourself. You have to practice it in your own (life). Before you become a healer, you must heal yourself first,” said Ramos.
“For my fellow cancer patients, I want them to accept it but still keep their chin up. What others say does not matter at all. Now that I know how to deal with it, it’s time to teach them and one of the simplest ways is to join support groups,” Alfante said with a smile.