Ongkingco
Children are growing up without the important trait of grit! In construction terms, grit is often used to refer to sand and gravel. Applied to a person’s character, it means firmness of mind or spirit, an unyielding courage when facing hardships or danger.
The two meanings are somehow related. As gathers grains of sand together to make solid blocks or slabs to construct a sturdy structure, similarly to develop grit requires constantly growing in virtue in small areas.
Once, a student said, “Father, I’m so stressed!”
Their final exams were nearing and on top of that he had to pass some papers and projects. I fully grasped what he meant with “being stressed.”
“May I ask you some questions?” I said.
“Sure, Father,” he readied himself with curiosity.
“Do you pay electric bills?”
“Not yet!”
“Water, phone and internet bills?
“Neither!”
“How about doing the grocery list and buying them?”
“Nope!”
He was beginning to feel uneasy.
“Do you pay for those who prepare the meals and wash/iron your clothes?”“No!”
“So, in the end, you’re not really stressed!”
Some may argue that kids at their “level’ really feel stressed. I agree that the amount of things they study (not to mention the books they have to carry) is a sizeable weight of mental and back aches, although much of the lugging of bags is mostly done by their drivers and yayas.
But I’m more inclined to think that they are stressed because we are no longer forging their characters to face the real “stressful and burdensome” punches that await them in life.
Instead, they become insecure when someone has a better branded product than what they have. They become rebellious because their parents say “no” to something they can actually enjoy a little “later.” They are anxious when, out of a sense of entitlement, they are not materially rewarded, and missing on growing in spiritual fulfillment and generosity.
How can we help our children to embrace life’s trials and hardships realistically?
In the first place, starting with ourselves by complaining less about life’s difficulties. For example, verbalizing frustrations about traffic, the heat and noise. As if doing so would change the situation. Rejecting any sense of entitlement which the children can easily pick up and imitate.
Second, giving them realistic reactions to life’s challenges. By learning how to shrug their shoulders confidently and to say, “so what?,” “is that really going to change/help me?,” “does brand really matter?” and more.
If we consciously heap these little grains of virtue, our children’s character will be gradually formed and fortified, helping them to have a character foundation that will not only face life but lead others through it as well.
“Make me Thine, and the grace to make Thee, mine.”