CEBU CITY,Philippines— If you have been on your phones or been surfing the internet lately, for sure you’ve come across the Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber drama.
You would have seen by now how Hailey’s friends have been accused of bullying Selena via their online posts.
But so much for who these people are. Let’s all focus on how we can spot and avoid enablers.
But first, what is an enabler?
An enabler is defined as one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior.
Enablers may have good intentions and genuinely want to help a person. But their actions prevent the person from facing the reality of his or her behavior and take responsibility for his or her actions.
Here’s how you can spot enablers:
They tolerate bad behavior
They tolerate bad behavior by masking, saying “that’s just the way you are.” Yes, we can live the way we want to but let’s not forget, we can also live right and not be a pest to other people’s lives.
They deny the problem
If these people dodge the problem just to make you feel better and just to make you “carry on” with your life, that’s a problem right there. Facing your problem, accepting it, and doing something about it is how one should face a problem, not point fingers to other people.
Covering with excuses- excuses, excuses, excuses, this will not solve anything. The more you hide under other people’s excuses, the more you get to think that you do not have to change, and that people around you should do the adjusting, not you. WRONG! In life, there should always be compromise. Be more self-aware.
Brushing off things
If these people tell you, “naah, that’s nothing,” when in fact you know it is something, get out of there. Period.
They do not honor boundaries
If healthy boundaries are often disregarded just to make room for the things they were used to doing, then you should not be in that circle. People change, people should change for the better. Boundaries are there for a reason. Be the bigger person and find that reason to maintain healthy boundaries.
If these may feel familiar to you, realign things again and check who are around you.
/bmjo
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