This is the napkin where the stranger inside the popular coffee shop wrote, the last sign Nila Avanceña needed from God to push her to shift careers from banking to the insurance industry.| Contributed photo
The hardest part of being human is making the “right” choices every day. Whether small or big, mundane or momentous, we constantly face difficult decisions.
What to eat for breakfast, what to cook for dinner, what movie to watch—these daily choices remind us that we control our lives.
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But what happens when the decisions are weightier? When they pit career against family? Can you make that choice for yourself?
“You know what, Mom? I really envy my classmates,” said her 15-year-old daughter, Meryll Avanceña, one evening at the dinner table. She was munching her food as she blurted out this statement and as if it was the most normal thing to say.
Nila Avanceña, an accountant, looked at her daughter, confused but intrigued. Nila smiled timidly, eager to listen. These dinners were rare and cherished because most nights she either missed dinner with them or came home very late.
“Because their moms are always around when we have school activities,” her daughter said.
Career vs Family
“Grabe. When I heard that, it felt like a dagger in my heart. I couldn’t finish my supper. I could hardly swallow my food. Everyone else left with full stomachs, but I sat there, thinking, ‘What am I working for?,’” said 58-year-old Nila.
Nila is a certified public accountant. She graduated from the University of San Carlos, where she earned her degree in Commerce and received the highest distinction, Magna Cum Laude. She was an outstanding accountancy graduate.
In short, she was an achiever.
Nila is the type of person who believes everything is possible with hard work and determination. Although a devout Catholic who practices her faith diligently and prays for everything she desires, she holds a firm belief in the principle of ‘reaping what you sow.’
“I loved banking. I loved my job. It gave me discipline, skills, everything. I am grateful for my banking experience because it shaped who I am today,” Nila said.
Nila spent 27 years of her life working in banks. At 20, she got her first job at Far East Bank as a new accounts clerk. By 25, she had been promoted to the position of officer.
However, an unexpected complication during a fragile pregnancy forced her to resign from the her first job and take a bed rest. After giving birth, she worked at Sugbuanon Rural Bank in the Mandaue Branch for three years.
In 1998, Nila joined Metrobank, where she worked for 15 years.
“I enjoyed my time there because I really loved my job. I left the bank with the highest position, as a manager of Metrobank. I was very grateful and happy, but as my children grew up, things began to change,” Nila said.
Nila recalled one dinner when her daughter openly shared her envy toward classmates whose mothers were always present at school activities.
That dinner, she said, was one of the moments that made her reassess everything.
“If my daughter has expressed it, it must come from her heart. So even though I was trying my best at the bank… Sometimes, sungogon tas panahon (fate would tease us). When I am about to leave, a client will come, and because of my work nature, I cannot say, ‘I will leave you because my daughter is having a dance activity,’ so I have to attend to my duties,” she explained.
Despite her busy schedule, Nila always tried to attend her children’s events. However, the timing often went awry because she frequently arrived late—sometimes in the middle, other times toward the end.
It was the turning point of everything, she said.
“I really thought I did my best, which I believe I did—juggling as an officer in the bank and as a mother. My husband and I are both accountants, so we were both really busy,” she added.
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Turning to faith for guidance
The turmoil in her career swelled, leading Nila to realize she could not make this decision alone. The stakes were monumental, not just for her career but for her entire life.
The decision to leave banking, something so precious to her, weighed heavily on her mind.
With knees bent and eyes closed, Nila found refuge in prayer. As an only child and orphan, with no siblings to lean on, the gravity of her situation pressed down on her.
She sought guidance and turned to her faith as she hoped to find clarity in her confusion.
Nila frequented Saint Therese of the Child Jesus in Lahug, Cebu City. She attended 12:15 afternoon masses and visited the church after work.
The signs
Every day, she prayed and asked for enlightenment. Then one day, she began asking for signs.
“I needed to be certain, both in mind and heart, that the decision I would make would not be something I would regret,” she explained.
Saint Therese, known for her association with flowers, inspired Nila to ask for a flower as a sign. Her friend advised her to ask for a unique flower—something uncommon like a purple one.
Nila regularly visited her parents’ tombs at Manila Memorial every weekend. One Saturday, when Nila visited her mother’s tomb, she went to a flower stall to buy a 50-peso bouquet. She did not specify the type, just the price.
However, to her surprise, as she rummaged through her bag for the money, the vendor handed her a bouquet of purple flowers.
She was so overwhelmed with emotion that she could not hold back and began to cry as she handed over the 50 pesos.
The unexpected gift of purple flowers, a symbol she had prayed for, struck her deeply, leaving her both grateful and amazed.
“Ma’am, ayaw lang hilak, Ma’am. Ilisan lang nato og dili ka ganahan,” the boy said, puzzled by her tears.
(Ma’am, don’t cry, Ma’am. I will just change it if you don’t like it.)
Since her prayer was only to Saint Therese, she did not share it with her husband. When he saw her crying, he asked, “For a flower, hilakan nimo?”
(For a flower, you will cry over it?)
Nila took the purple flowers and offered them to her mom. She then asked herself if this was the sign she needed. Yet, she was not convinced.
“It might have been a coincidence,” Nila said.
Nila prayed again and asked for more signs to understand. This time, she asked for another flower.
“I went back again to Saint Therese and asked for forgiveness if it could be a sign, but I took it as a coincidence. So I asked her again to give me a flower. I did not specify, just a flower,” she said.
One morning, she was driving on the route heading toward her office in Lahug when a calachuchi flower landed on her wiper.
It was stuck there—a white and yellow flower, with no stem or leaves, just the flower.
She again cried.
“I was overwhelmed by what I saw because how could a calachuchi flower fall in the middle of the road? So I said, this can be another sign. I told myself, ‘Nila, if you do not accept this as a sign, you do not believe in God,’” she said.
She went to the church again, asking Saint Therese if this was the flower she gave. She needed to understand because she could not explain where the calachuchi flower came from. That was the second sign.
“Are you still happy with Metrobank?” a friend who was recruiting her to join, a life insurance company, asked her one day. She was a former colleague from the Far East Bank.
“I feel that my body is not the way it used to be, and the stress is taking a toll on my health. I have high blood pressure, and my lab results are high,” Nila answered. She was 47 at the time.
The training at insurance company required a week off—a difficult feat at the bank where her leave would usually span only two or three days.
A week’s leave would require a medical certificate, especially for officers. Nila told herself that if she were allowed to take a week off, it could be another sign.
“So I said, I will consider it but I have to pray for it more. If I am given leave from Monday to Friday, it will be another sign. I will be making another decision. Surprisingly, I was given the leave,” she shared.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Nila joined the training, but uncertainty still lingered. Moving from a stable bank job to a commission-based position was daunting.
She prayed again for guidance.
One day, Nila and her friend decided to meet at a popular coffee shop in IT Park to discuss her decision. The coffee shop was crowded, and finding a table seemed impossible.
A man near the door overheard their search and offered his table as he was leaving.
“Ma’am, diri lang mo kay mogawas naman sad ko,” Nila recalled what the guy said.
(Ma’am you can stay here because I am leaving soon.)
When Nila sat down, her mind was heavy with the indecision of shifting careers. The man, noticing her distress, asked, “Naa kay problema, Ma’am?”
(Do you have a problem, Ma’am?)
Surprised by the stranger’s question, she replied, “I don’t have any, but I am thinking of something that bothers me.”
The man wrote something on a napkin of the popular coffee shop and handed it to her before leaving. “Para imoha ni, Ma’am,” he said.
(This is for you, Ma’am.)
When Nila read what was written on the napkin, she felt as if she had been doused with ice-cold water and she was stunned and felt cold.
Her tears began to stream down her face as she sat there, oblivious of the bustling crowd around her.
The words written on the napkin seemed to resonate deeply within her. It felt as if the entire world had momentarily paused, and all she could focus on were the words on that napkin.
They struck her with such force that it left her breathless, as if the universe had conspired to deliver this message precisely when she needed it most.
The man had written Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path,” underlining “DIRECT YOUR PATH.”
After that, she said she left banking and took the insurance firm job.
“Then I said, Lord, this will be the decision and I made this because you directed me to this. So that’s the story,” Nila said.
Nila found so much fulfillment in her work at the insurance firm.
The impact of the quote was so transformative that it reshaped her entire mindset. What once seemed like a daunting leap now felt like a step toward a new purpose.
“Before, I believed I was the driver of my life. But now, I see myself as the passenger. My prayer is always, ‘Lead me, Lord. You are the driver.'”
“Mom, did you regret leaving the bank for us?” Meryll in her 20s, wearing her college toga, asked.
“No, I did not regret it. In fact, I am thankful to you because you did not suppress what you were feeling,” Nila answered and smiled.
Through this journey, Nila learned the most significant lesson. That from turning to faith when everything felt overwhelming, to seeking signs, to taking major reroutes in life, she realized one thing.
“You are not in control of everything. No matter how intelligent, rich, or glorified you are, you cannot control life. We are just tools. We cannot create; we must surrender and pray.”