Stuck with bad luck

Dear Ms. Belle,

I can’t seem to accomplish what I should be doing. My friends say it’s because I am a middle child. We are seven brothers and sisters. I have many goals in life, but I would fail in my pursuits. Just when I think I’m almost there, things don’t proceed. For example, I took up a preparatory course for medical studies. I was starting when I got pregnant and had to stop school. My ex-boyfriend and I are still friends now and we both are involved as parents to our daughter. I applied for work and did well. I was about to be promoted as manager but a fellow team head went to top management and asked for the job. As a result, he got the position even if I knew I was better. I was hurt so I applied for an overseas job. I passed all the tests and prepared to leave. At the last minute, a friend convinced me that it’s not a good idea to leave my daughter behind in her
formative years. I heeded her advice and decided to postpone my plan to go abroad. Then I met another man who I thought was right for me. We were doing fine but because of my failed relationship that resulted to my being a single mom, I did not want to get married. He got angry and left for abroad. Recently, I heard that he had found someone else. What is happening to my life? Did I do something bad and this is my karma? Is there a way to shake off my bad luck?


Dear Elisa,

There is no one making these decisions but you.

All the events you narrated has nothing to do with luck or your being a middle child. Getting pregnant is your own doing. That someone beat you to getting the promotion could be because you didn’t go for your objective with a passion. Sometimes it’s not enough to just work hard or do well to land a higher position. Do not expect management to hand it to you on a silver platter. You want it? Then go for it. Ask for it. You think you’re the better and more qualified person for the job? Make sure that management sees that. In a company, while it is important to work well, you also have to work smart. In other words, sell yourself and your efforts. Going abroad because you got hurt is not going to turn things in your favor—unless you change your outlook. I agree that it is not a good idea for you to leave your young daughter behind. Staying with her is part of your responsibilities as a mom. As to the one who got away, well, I think he was serious about having a meaningful relationship. How about you? Did you think it was special or just a passing fancy? It looks like you’re the one who hasn’t moved on from a bad past. And you are whining about decisions you made that put you in situations not exactly to your liking. My dear girl, take stock of the good and bad things you have. Focus on your dreams and direct all decisions towards your goals.

Ms. Belle

TAGS: decisions, failure, life
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