DIDN’T you know your pet dog, cat or bird can speak perfect English — or any other form of spoken language?
You will when you watch “The Secret Life of Pets.”
Dear reader, I am a particular lover of Golden Retrievers (having raised four), and I have no doubt that when the lights are off and the house is still at 3:45 a.m., one of them is in the living room.
Reading Shakespeare.
Dogs are that smart.
Cats? They are all born at 40 years old and only give you attention when they want to— otherwise they are off somewhere balancing the $19 Trillion US Debt.
We know that animals do speak—in Numbers 22:28, Balaam’s donkey spoke to him—so this cartoon version was equally as intriguing.
This secret world that no human can enter starts with a five-minute, manic opening featuring none other than the Minions (which has nothing to do with “The Secret Life of Pets”) except that they are Minions.
Chris Meledandri—he genius behind the Minions—also pioneered this “secret life” adventure (codirected by Yarrow Cheney and Chris Renaud) which takes place on the island of Manhattan; and dear reader, having lived on this self-same island, I can testify that animals live, for the most part, in solitude, within cramped and obscure 20-floor building apartments that are full of very busy, two-three lane boulevards.
Which is why God made weekends so that animals can (nearly) run free in Central Park.
Max (voiced by Louis C.K.)is the terrier who provides the “voice over” of “secret life” who— through rain or shine—is the protector of Katie, his human counterpart. Raised as a puppy, Max is completely spoiled, so every day when Katie leaves for work, it makes Max nuts. Where Katie goes and what she does is a mystery to Max who shares his distress with Gidget (voiced by Jenny Slate), the female poodle who lives in the apartment next door.
Also inhabiting this frantic animal ecosphere is the fattest cat in the world, Chloe (voiced by Lake Bell), who just adores human food and will raid the refrigerator and devour a cooked chicken in one gulp.
There is everything in the world to enjoy in “The Secret Life of Pets” —whether you are an animal lover of not. Of course, understanding this “secret world” when the animals speak perfect English is far easier.
This is a movie, ya know!
Here is the official synopsis: Max is a terrier who enjoys a comfortable life in a New York building until his owner (Katie) adopts Duke, a giant and unruly canine. During their walk outside, they encounter a group of ferocious alley cats and wind up in a truck that’s bound for the pound. Luckily, a rebellious bunny named Snowball swoops in to save the doggy duo from captivity. In exchange, Snowball demands that Max and Duke join his gang of abandoned pets on a mission against the humans who’ve done them wrong.
The voice acting is excellent—with Eric Stonestreet as the oversized and goofy Duke and Kevin Hart as the white-haired (and for the most part, insanely crazy) Snowball. The remainder of the human voice cast may not be known to you —but who cares—their animated, onscreen versions are utterly adorable.
I loved Albert Brooks’ cameo as a self-named “selfish predator”—a bemoaned hawk who lives on the rooftop of one of the hundreds of high rises in Manhattan.
“The Secret Life of Pets,” with its sequel coming in two years, is a wonderful romp through America’s greatest city; seen through the eyes (and voices) of our furry canine friends.
Of course, we humans don’t care all that much what our animals do all day long when we leave to earn a living, provided that our shoes, furniture and computers are not that damaged when we come back after a hard day.
In return, our pets, be it dog, cat or bird, give us unconditional love and companionship.
Isn’t life so much better when our animals can talk, read Shakespeare and eat our dinner for us?
Questions, comments or travel suggestions, write me at [email protected].
