Photo by
Matt Pingkian
If you’ve only seen Kuh Ledesma on TV or on YouTube, there’s not much of a comparison when you’re in the same room with her—except being intimidated by her stature when you’re about to launch a conversation. But hers is a different matter. She is in a rather higher state of purpose now, no longer pillared on her reign as the Filipino “Pop Diva” who rakes in a plethora of hit songs throughout the years.
Thus, in the last 16 years of her life, she has never stepped out of the light of her faith, and as far as the last conversation, she plans to illuminate the world even brighter than where her heart is. This isn’t even the limelight to begin with.
It is not also the natural light streaming through the al fresco hall on the 11th floor of Golden Prince Hotel and Suites with an overlooking view of the streets in Cebu City’s cosmopolitan district on this rainy afternoon, a Saturday, in September where she meets a congregation of fellow Christians.
They have convened to help her stage the “Perfect Love” tour on Oct. 8 at the J. Centre Convention Hall at 8 p.m. in Mandaue City.
“At first, we called it ‘Deeper Love,’ but as we went on, we changed the title to ‘Perfect Love’ because there is a scripture in the Bible saying that perfect love casts out fear,” the singer (née Maria Socorro), 61, shares its birthmark.
“So I gathered people na talagang mahal na mahal ang Panginoon. I’ve also seen their light and how God transformed their lives. Our vision is to harvest souls for Christ. For 16 years as a Christian, I’ve become more burdened sa mga nagkakasakit, not necessarily cancer lang, kung hindi yung may mga disorders na tinatawag ng mga psychiatrists, pero in simple terms and biblical terms, I would call it a spiritual imbalance.”
Dressed in a wheat brown-colored crepe suit matched with gold cage stilettos, Kuh meanders through the crowd unnoticed. She then sidles to a secluded corner and observes everyone in attendance, greeting her friends — kiss, hello, kiss—with an attempt to utter a word or two in Cebuano. Whenever the breeze blows her hair, she tucks a strand behind her ear to keep the parting on the left still looking coiffured; a large fraction neatly falls on her “good angle”: the right side of her face.
Pain fires her desire, the somersault of the spirit. But what keeps our eyes still fixed on her?
To borrow words from poet Gerard Manley Hopkins—All things counter, original, spare, strange.
Tell us about your spiritual turning point.
Naku napakahaba. I’ve come to understand deep love through sacrifice. My husband and I got separated. We were married for 11 years. Siyempre, I lost total faith to the God that I pray to because I didn’t completely know Him yet. Two weeks, I was like a walking dead, wala akong ka buhay-buhay. I felt even my career couldn’t make me happy kasi
naka-focus ako sa husband ko for my joy. Two weeks later, my friend told me there was another woman, third party liability … The woman that he was going out with was 20 years younger than him. I wanted to write her name all over Manila or broadcast it on TV. Balde-balde siguro yung iniyak ko. Thank God that He gave me an impression to call Edd, who is a Bible teacher. He shared with me Ephesians 6: “We do not wrestle with flesh and blood.” I’ve got to have compassion. Ako din
naman, makasalanan.
What is then the meaning of love?
Love for me, I discovered, is not something that I could define in one description. Partly, it’s an attraction. Sometimes, you think it is chemistry. But the element that is really needed for love to survive is a love that forgives, a love that is compassionate, and a love that sacrifices.
Do you still have fears with a strong faith like yours?
I do not talk about my fear. From what I learned as a Christian, I should not verbalize my fears because dun malalaman ng demonyo. He could use that. He could get power from that. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death is in the power of the tongue, and those who will love it will eat its fruit.” Kaya, ang mga tao, ang lagi nilang sinasabi ay wala akong pera, ay malulugi nanaman yung tindahan ko, ganun di ba? Being ignorant to the spiritual aspect of God, the spiritual life would lead us to these fears kasi tayo, we’re composed of body, soul, spirit. So tayo, ang body natin we are affected by how we think, our subconscious, and that’s in our soul. Until the spirit of God comes in your life, it is that power, the Holy Spirit’s power, that changes your soul. That’s why, if your soul remains the same without the spirit of God, you will not make it to heaven. The soul is the one nililinis ng Diyos.
Is it difficult to keep your faith aflame in showbiz?
Even if you’re in showbiz or in a bank or if you’re a magtataho, it’s not easy. But all things are possible for them who believe. Hindi madali, but God sent His son to pay for all our sins, so basically lahat ng kasalanan natin bayad na. Sabi nga, “by the strikes,” yung nilatigo si Jesus, may purpose yun. Our ills have been paid for in full. Pero hindi automatic, porke’t binayaran na ni Lord sa cross, hindi ibig sabihin na hindi na tayo hihingi ng tulong kay Father in heaven in the name of Jesus. Because of what He has done—He sacrificed His only Son for us—we have to ask help from Jesus, and then, He will make things clear to you as you read the Bible. Babaguhin ka niya.
You said good deeds are not enough. Why?
You cannot make to heaven by good works. Ephesians 2:8–9 says, “For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourself, it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Wala kang pwedeng ipagmayabang, pag namatay ka di mo pwedeng sabihin na binigay mo lahat ng kayamanan mo sa mahihirap pag tinanong ka ng Panginoon kung bakit ka papasukin sa langit. You cannot say, wala kang kaaway, araw-araw kang nagsisimba, mabait sa magulang. Those are good deeds, and the Lord hates good works that we do without a relationship with Christ. When you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior through a prayer, you turn away from sin and ask the Holy Spirit to come to you. And that’s the power that will change you. He will be your wonderful counselor. Ang mangyayari, when you have a relationship with Christ is you will naturally do good acts. Walang motives… wala ng mga “donated by” or parang nagbibigay ka ng pera na naka-advertise.
Photo by
Matt Pingkian
How does faith affect marriage?
Meron Siyang (God) pinapasunod sa isang husband. Meron din Siyang pinapasunod sa wife so that there will be harmony and they can stay long. Kasi may hinahanap ang lalaki sa wife, kaya nga pinakasalan nyan, eh. And a lot of times, in relationships, ang tinitingnan lang nila yung physical, but we’re not looking into the spiritual aspect of this man. And then, you marry this person because of the physical attribute, or yung chemistry ninyo or intimacy is great, and then later on, naku, ibang klase pala ang lalaking yan—mahilig pala sa babae, nananakit, walang takot sa Diyos.
What’s your greatest miracle?
My greatest miracle is coming to know Christ. I thank Him for allowing the pain that I had in my life because without that, I would have been too busy to take notice that He was calling me to serve Him. He allowed the things that were not godly in my life. It was not that I was going out with many men, but I was not a submissive wife as what the Bible would say. I wasn’t a godly wife in the sense of how God has designed a wife to be.
Compare the challenges between producing a Christian album and a pop record.
It’s not easy to come up with gospel songs because there are not many gospel songwriters. But I am blessed to have a good relationship with Cecilia Azarcon-Inocentes, who is in California. She prioritizes me. She’s a hit maker. She was the one who wrote “Lift Up Your Hands” and a few songs in my first gospel album “Fragrance of Worship” (released in 2011).
Are you saying goodbye to pop music?
No, no. I still do my hits when I’m invited to do corporate shows or concerts. I still have that part of my life that I still do, secular music. Pero, I also have this light of mine where I do my gospel songs. In this concert “Perfect Love,” I will perform my secular music—my “Dito Ba?” and my “I Think I’m in Love.” I’m incorporating them in the stories I want to tell.
How do your fans respond to your gospel music?
Oh, they like it. I just met one guy the other day in Japan. I was so blessed because he said he got my gospel album with my testimonies four years ago, and he became a Christian.
Do you have upcoming movies?
We want to make movies about these testimonies of miracles and all that… about healing. But I don’t know when. Hopefully, next year.
Is there a record in the making?
Yes, I want to come up with an album before the year ends pero we’re going to be in Canada, in Europe for a tour, so I’ll be gone most of the time, tapos we’re busy with this (“Perfect Love” conference). Hopefully, next year also. We already have the music. It’s an all-Tagalog album, ang title “Ikaw,” all songs na with the word ikaw and all remakes. I will be doing my second gospel album as well.
What’s your advice to young singers?
They do not need my advice kasi ang gagaling na nila. There are many amazing young singers in the Philippines. They’ve got to work hard and work with the best. If you want to be the best, surround yourself with the best.
What do you constantly pray for?
I pray for the Lord to change me and to help me still with the things I have not overcome or continue to repeat… the mistakes in my life, weaknesses that I have. Do I have a lot? I believe not as much as before, but by God’s grace, I was able to change, pati yung mga unlovable namamahal ko na. God wants you to love the unlovable.
