Picking up the pieces

Timmy carves fresh fruits in a cruise ship in an effort to move on and build a home for his family.

CYBERPORNOGRAPHY

(Conclusion)

He didn’t know what hit him.

For years, Timmy and his siblings were into cyberpornography courtesy of their parents — an experience that turned the children’s dreams into their worst nightmare.

He was a teenager then.

Upon their parents’ instructions, in the stillness of their home in Cordova town, Cebu, Timmy and his siblings would pose naked in front of a computer camera while online clients watched them perform lewd acts.

The home-based cyberporn enterprise went on for some time until agents of the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) conducted a raid that led to their parents’ arrest.

The harrowing episode in their life led Timmy, the eldest in a brood of seven, to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives and dream again.

Last January 2018, Timmy, now 22 years old, began work in a cruise ship as a chef.

“Grabe kalisud mabuwag sa ginikanan. Morag ang tibuok kalibutan naa sa imong abaga. Isip eldest, ania nako ang tanang responsibilidad sa akong mga manghud. (It’s extremely difficult to be separated from our parents. It seems like the whole world rests on my shoulders. As the eldest, I have the responsibility to take care of my younger siblings),” said Timmy who finished a course in hotel and restaurant management at the University of Cebu (UC).

Except for a 20-year-old brother who is also working now, all his other siblings, aged 18, 16, 12, 10, and 6, remain in a center under the care and supervision of guardians.

Acceptance

It took a while for Timmy to succeed in overcoming the trauma caused by his harrowing exposure to cyberpornography.

And it came with the help of social workers and psychologists coupled with the determination to keep moving forward and provide for his siblings.

“I already accepted everything that happened. I used these experiences in my life to become a better person, and it is from these events where I draw strength to succeed in life,” Timmy said in Cebuano.

“I believe everything happened for a reason. I just have to think positive and trust in God,” he added.

Although what was done to them by their parents was a hard pill to swallow, Timmy said, he has learned to forgive his mother and father, and to start anew.

“At first, I was mad at them because the manner they earned money for our family was wrong. But I have to forgive,” Timmy said.

“Nay, Tay, thank you. You did something to support our needs although the manner it was done was wrong. Despite everything, we do not regret having you as our parents,” he added.

Temptations

Fr. Eligio Suico, head of the Cebu Archdiocesan Commission on Family and Life, told Cebu Daily News that cyberpornography has devastated several households and individuals in unthinkable ways.

He urged families not to give in to temptations of the flesh and easy money, as it would not bring anything good in the long run.

“Engaging in cyberpornography is a grave offense, especially if it involves your children. This is a way of the devil to destroy families—the basic unit of society,” Suico said.

“Remember that every person was created in the image and likeness of God, and that every human being is the temple of the Holy Spirit,” he added.

“We need to have an information dissemination drive to educate or awaken people. From the side of the Church, we are doing whatever we can to stop cyberpornography although we admit it is an uphill climb,” said Suico.

Education is key

Suico, who will assume as parish priest of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish in Barangay Pajac in Lapu-Lapu City on June 14, plans to create chapel-based groups that will reach out to marginalized sectors and encourage households to shun any form of sexual exploitation.

“An education campaign really helps. This could be a pilot program, and I hope this will be replicated in other parishes,” Suico said.

He added that people should stay away from cyberpornography not so much out of fear of being arrested or bearing the brunt of the harsh punishment under the law, but because whatever destroys the soul, he said, would lead to eternal damnation.

“Work hard and pray, and a better future awaits you,” he said.

Suico is happy that Timmy and his siblings have slowly recovered from the trauma caused by their family’s cyberpornography business.
“God’s grace is at work. And even if they are victims, there is hope for with God nothing is impossible,” he said.

Dreams

If it were entirely up to him, Timmy said he wanted his parents to be pardoned by the state and be given the chance to start a new life.

“I believe the (7) years they have spent in jail are already enough,” he said.

But justice has to be served; and while awaiting the court’s verdict, Timmy said he has to help his family, especially his siblings, by earning a decent living.

“I have to work and strive hard for them,” he said adding that he dreams of someday building a home for his siblings where they can face life all together.

“And if one day, our parents will be free, they will have a house to go home to,” Timmy said.

Speaking from experience, Timmy appealed to families who are into cyberpornography to stop their illegal operations and instead find a decent way to earn a living that will not snuff the life out of their children.

“Please think of your kids who will bear the consequences. I tell you, it’s extremely hard for us to be away from our parents,” Timmy said.

“While your family is still intact, do everything to keep it,” he said.