Captain Rizalindo “Lindo” Gigante
Being an island boy to man of the world, international pilot Captain Rizalindo “Lindo” Gigante never stops reinventing himself.
He’s a gung-ho travel-photographer who uses social media to advocate the rebuilding of his hometown Santa Fe, Bantayan, and a stage father to his seven children, among them beauty queen and global shaper Maria and the younger Timothy who’s starting to make a name for himself after being first runner-up in Mr. Intrams at the University of San Carlos where he also sits in the supreme student government.
As busy as he is, Lindo has never missed a milestone in his kids’ lives—watching from the sidelines at pageants, recitals and basketball games, or simply coaching them for a school activity.
This dedicated dad takes the whole brood on vacation whenever he is available, and makes sure his kids enjoy their moments together. Just recently, he came from bonding with his eldest son in Korea.
Whether it’s “fatherhood by remote” when he’s out there flying, or hands-on dad when he’s in town, this cool parent opens up to the Play! pool about his calling and the many splendid things that keep him going. (OJC)
You grew up in Sta. Fe, was the high school valedictorian, and then you went to the city and became magna cum Laude in Mechanical Engineering in CIT. How did you end up flying planes?
I used to do tours in Bantayan island, and once we had a visitor who happened to be the plane mechanic of Imelda Marcos. This was in 1983, and as their tour guide, I befriended him. Three years after, he called me about an aviation school in Manila that opened. I had just finished my engineering course and was in the middle of review school. I was lucky to make it sa
first batch.
Did you undergo a tough learning curve?
It was very difficult. It was something new for me and somehow I also felt that there was a slight discrimination… because you know naman some Manila people. But it was life-changing I must say, because not only were we schooled, but the likes of Conchitina Bernardo, Claudine Zialcita and Marlon Garcia taught us personality and character development.
It was a complete overhaul!
Among the many places you’ve been to, which is the best for you?
Siem Reap in Cambodia. The Angkor Wat is just amazing—its immensity and the cross culture built in each pillar just amazes me.
Let’s talk about fatherhood. What was it like as a first-time father with Maria?
The greatest joy. It was a great affirmation that I am capable of creation. At least by being the other half responsible for that crucible of a life… that one beautiful human being, who is Maria. It’s the closest I can be like God. I also felt the deep love of my parents for me. Maria was the first grandchild on both maternal and paternal sides. I remember that I had my camera on her from the nursery… well, until today. It’s actually the same for the rest of my seven kids.
How did you relate your own upbringing to fatherhood?
I am the middle of three siblings. I was the one who always makes sure all things in the house were in order so our dad who was an extreme disciplinarian would have nothing to say. I am very good at home chores. That’s why having a baby wasn’t a hassle. It took a lot of work, but I had no issues about it. I would change diapers and wake up at night. The nanny never slept with her. I am a hands-on dad.
Did you ever wish of a “fatherhood school” that men can go to before taking on the big role?
Oh, that never crossed my mind. But I believe learning arts and sciences in school plays a big role in fatherhood. It’s the disciplines we can apply in the different roles we play in our own personal lives. Well, not only that. I have had lessons while growing up in a big clan. I read on the experiences of famous people, in the Bible and history. So when the kids started coming, it wasn’t hard to adjust. Although there were a few surprises, I kept my composure, trusting in the fundamentals of human nature. I think I learned a lot from the movies, too. But I guess, you’re right. It would help to have a school for fatherhood. That’s actually a novel idea!
What do you think is the most challenging aspect of fatherhood today?
One is managing this madness that computer games, gadgets and the Internet has brought. We’re talking about addiction in a new level. When the parents sleep, the boys would sneakily play online games. And then they go to school without us knowing that they have not slept. We’ll find out only when the teachers report that they had been sleeping in class. This is the big problem of all my foreign friends.
What’s the most unorthodox lesson fatherhood taught you?
That I cannot have the children with me forever. We are here as guides and caretakers only after all. We just have to do our best effort and pray for good results. I used to think that children can be molded exactly how we parents want them through specific discipline and education. But their own personalities even at a very young age and their friendships in early adulthood have a big role, too. Technology and mass media come into play as well.
Tell us about your fatherhood style, especially since your work demands you to be away for some time.
Constant communication. I talk and laugh with them at every opportunity. We talk about everything. Like friends. I do not demand sleep at night on weekends and holidays. It’s my favorite time to connect with my children. We have daily meetings as well as special meetings when concerns come up. I make notes and they do as well like in a corporate meeting. I use a lot of technology to reach them, and I try to know the activities of the kids on a daily basis. Be it WhatsApp, Kakao Talk, Yahoo Messenger, Viber, Facebook or Skype. We exchange photos of our activities daily. We have our own secret family group on FB. I get feedback from house help, teachers and the guidance office as well. I talk to my kids every day when I am home. I can only attend to them personally when I am in Cebu with very minimal distraction. So activities with friends are rare. And no organizations or clubs. I encourage them to attend all family events even when I’m not here. I require them to account all expenses with receipts.
LINDO AND KIDS. Maria 20; Timothy 19; Veronica 16; Mateo 13; Isabel 11, Lucas 10; Miguel 5.
How different is playing dad to a daughter versus a son?
I have no bias . I would reward good behavior and accomplishments regardless of sex. The three girls are more obedient and easy to handle than my four boys though—like most families, I guess. Computer games make the the boys crazy, and that’s a real challenge for me.
What’s the greatest advice your father gave you?
My dad never gave me advice. He made me work at home, just as he did himself. On everything… I went to fish with him with nets and hooks on a pump boat. I drove a tricycle and jeep at night, and on weekends for many years, I took care of our piggery which was really dirty. In short, he showed me that rewards come with a lot of hard work. While others were sleeping, we worked. While others were playing, we studied. We worked and studied more than we played, at least when they were at home… although many times he caught us playing. My paternal grandfather died when my dad was 15 and he was the eldest of seven kids. It always occurred to me that he was a survivor so I quite understood why he did not want to see us playing. I hated it that time. Now, looking back, I am grateful.
You’ve been labeled as a “stage father.” Care to comment?
I enjoy it. I always laugh hard when people bring that up. My being there for my kids is full support and inspiration for them to do more. I never meddled, except on punctuality. I am just the photographer, driver and errand dad on events. There was never a moment when I made a scene like those notorious moms you’d hear about. I’ve met a lot of stage mothers, but very few stage dads.
What is that one philosophy you’ve strived to live by as a father?
Integrity as a person is first. Sincerity and honesty are the hard-and-fast rules in everything.
What is the best part of being a daddy?
I am happiest when my children say they want to do exactly the way I did when they have their own families. Also, when people tell me I have well- mannered kids.
How do you manage to close the generation gap between you and your Millennial kids?
I always observe what they do, what TV shows they watch, the websites they visit. Even the songs they sing. I follow their conversations, and we’d joke the way friends do… which is quite far from what I was used to. That I can be a friend matters a lot. They confide to me so I know their friends. Yes, the generation gap is there, but I made bridges through constant communication.
If you can pass on to your sons one important fathering skill, what would that be?
Being able to communicate and connect to their children about everything.
What’s your discipline style?
Never spare the rod. I am very Biblical about it. I use it for them to remember so they will not repeat the mistakes. It also serves as a deterrent. But I use the rod only as a last resort, like when one hurts a sibling. The same goes for repetitive incidents that have been given warning.
What is the biggest myth you discovered about fatherhood?
That I can completely engineer my children into the person I want them to be.
How do you keep abreast with the different needs of your growing children?
They are used to listing their personal needs, like a long list of books. Not clothes. So bills on books are a big expense in our family, second to food. I realize the value of reading books. They like buying comics, too.
How would you take it if one of your kids is gay?
That will not bother me. As I said, I have no bias.
What is the biggest reward of being a father?
When kids behave properly in school and in public. I feel proud when people call my attention on their good manners and language.
On a Cool Dad scale of 1 to 10 with 10 as the highest, rate yourself.
Eight. Because I think that’s how efficient my efforts are. The two points are controlled by other forces, and the kids themselves.
What’s the biggest lesson you want to impart to fellow fathers?
You can’t control everything.
