On families, values and leadership

Mindfully Greenie

It was one of those rare weekends with nothing indicated in the personal calendar. I decided to tick off a task in the getting-longer-to-do list, and that was to segregate the childhood stuff of the kids, like pictures (in the bygone era when a commercial photo shop was indispensable) and medals.

Going through a cabinet drawer, an unfamiliar handwoven pouch got my attention. Opening it, I was surprised to see ancient-looking medals with my name on some of them. Yes, in the past, there still was time for personalizing tokens of recognition.

Tears and memories instantly flooded my being. I knew it was Mama Coring who took great pains to collect them for me, and for my siblings as well.

She knew that sooner or later, we would reach maturity and gain the wisdom to learn to appreciate more what the medals stand for, but most important of all, to imbibe the values of love, respect, integrity and simplicity that she and Papa Nono had painstakingly instilled in their children.

The unconditional love that Mama showered upon each of her nine children is the single biggest factor that shaped us and made us secure and proud of who we are, so unique, so different from each other, yet so loved and, yes, – so strong.

One can just imagine how it was each day, but she was extraordinary in so many ways. She did have a habit of talking as most moms do. But, more than her words, it was her action and habits that reverberated the most.

She made sure that we were surrounded by a very green but not manicured landscape- lovely flowers, palmeras and large fruit trees – and be able to bask in the beauty, the serenity and the daily wonders that it provided. All sorts of birds, lizards including monitor lizards, insects, butterflies, to mention some, were part of our everyday world.

Busy as she was, she took it upon herself to water the plants daily. It must have been spiritually nourishing for her to see how they, like her children, blossomed under her care.

She instilled efficiency in the use of water – we had to use a basin in washing dishes and the used water for flushing and cleaning toilets. She was our very own original recycling Queen. “Waste” was an alien concept in our household.

How she managed to do so was quite a feat as her time was spent not just in running a full-packed home. Mama was one of the then few working mothers of her time. She was a school executive with equally demanding constituents and schedule. She was so great at time management, that at some point, she even enrolled in a graduate program in a local university.

To think that at that time we were growing up, in such critical phases of our development, our mother was mostly a single parent, during workdays, that is. Our Papa Nono was a judge in the equivalent of the now named Regional Trial Court, and was not allowed to be assigned in his home province.

I guess the reason behind that regulation was for judges to avoid familiarity with those whom they were and would be in contact with, whether inside or outside the courtroom.

Yet, we saw that on those precious days with us, he would maximize the lost moments and be truly with us, in heart and spirit. He and Mama would bring us to church, and visit my mother’s family in Mandaue and then off to the north to have time with his relatives in Catmon, his paradise on earth and now, ours as well (He surely would be grinning from where he is).

In his hometown, we would explore the coasts and swim to our hearts’ content. Our sole regret is that we failed to explore the underwater world then.

It must have been pristine, with lovely corals and abundant seagrass and thriving marine resources. We also relished our countless treks in the countryside, the rides on a ‘kabaw’ (carabao), the fun times staggering to keep our balance on the stony pathways along the river and just marvel at Mother Nature’s creations.

Still, it was a wonder that Papa could find time to take his regular walks which now I realize, was also a needed moment for reflection, if on his own, and if with his dear friends, for the much-deserved fun moments and support. His love for reading, and we grew up with the books and periodicals everywhere in the house, has become thankfully an intergenerational habit.

These bits and pieces of the beliefs, practices and lifelong lessons we learned from our parents formed the essential foundation for the values we stand for.

For us, they are our family, our natural life support systems that are now wobbling on the edge of collapse, and each of us, who are sharing what we can to help both our humans and non-humans live a more sustainable life.

Family is important as they shape the values and leadership skills that are needed for the present and future generations to survive and thrive, amid the prevailing threats to our survival.

Amid the noise of the campaign season, let us make sure that the values we hold dear are those which our future political leaders have.