THE ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions, and those other people, is generally known as emotional intelligence or emotional quotient, known under its shorter and more ubiquitous name, EQ.
Google the term EQ and a multitude of articles featuring psychologists and behavioral experts appear, advising school administrators, teachers and parents to work on their children’s EQ.
An article on Fast Company website (www.fastcompany.com) noted a research carried out by the Carnegie Institute of Technology which showed that
“85 percent of our financial success was due to skills in human engineering, personality, ability to communicate, negotiate and lead.
The study found out that only 15 percent of financial success is due to technical ability.
Daniel Kahneman, the Nobel Prize winning Israeli American psychologist, found that “people would rather do business with a person that they like and trust rather than someone they don’t, even if that person is offering a better product at a lower price.”
Simply put, we are informed that intelligent quotient (IQ), that score derived from standardized tests designed to assess intelligence, is not the sole aggregate yardstick that determines success.
EQ needs to be cultivated among children as emotional regulation is necessary so that they can remember, retrieve, transfer and connect all new information to what they already know, according to developmental-behavioral pediatrician Lourdes Bernadette “Tippy” Sumpaico-Tanchanco in her recent Cebu visit.
She outlined five ways to enhance children’s EQ so they will grow not just as technical experts but human beings who are sensitive to the feelings and needs of people surrounding them.
Nurture relationship.
Start with establishing a nurturing relationship with your child. It does begin at home. Loving interactions with your children help make them confident and resilient. It teaches them to be loving and warm by the examples set by the parents. A nurturing, loving relationship at home
will prepare children in dealing with problems, stress and issues in different stages of their lives.
Label feelings.
The 2015 Disney Pixar film “Inside Out” was a comedic and childlike explanation of how emotions affect human relationships. In the movie, the five emotions Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear function inside the girl Riley’s head sending in crazy waves of emotional responses to certain situations.
How can you help your child manage his/her emotions? Teach him/her to label feelings. “You are angry right now because you did not
get the toy that you want.” Put a name to that abstract emotion and it will help them build the correct vocabulary so they can communicate their emotions.
Talk about behaviors.
Talk about positive and negative behaviors around you and how to cope with negative behaviors. It is important to point out that people in good mood are better at inductive reasoning and creative problem solving so talk about those behaviors by having an open line of communication with your child.
Emphasize responsibility.
Children need to be responsible at a young age. Assign them chores -at home to teach them responsibility. This will also help them build relationships with the people at home such as parents, siblings and househelpers.
It cultivates in them empathy because they will become aware of other people’s reactions or feelings when they don’t fulfill their assigned tasks. Empathy is essential to build healthy and happy relationships with family and friends.
Encourage creativity.
Most of the time we feel that we should always entertain our children: buy them toys, let them watch television shows, play with them. But we do not realize that there are several other activities which can be done to encourage creativity. Sometimes, you just let them get bored so their creativity comes out; they think of ways on how to get out of the bored stage. Children who are creative are more resilient because they will think out of the box to solve problems.
