GO, go Power Rangers!
Oh, gee. . . I think I’m going to barf. The latest incarnation of the Power Rangers should not be mistaken for the 1995 film version entitled “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie” which was played almost strictly for laughs with the original American TV version of actors.
Actually, the Power Rangers have been around a very long time. They are an American adaptation of the 1992 Japanese Super Sentai TVSeries, Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger, which are fiveindividuals who are given specific “powers” to unite and ward off evil in all its many forms. The Rangers are
featured in varied colors such as blue, green, red and yellow, complete withhelmets and skin tight … tights.
What is really freaky are the face masks that cover the Rangers’ eyes and mouth. The lips don’t move, neither do they have any facial expressions.
Each episode the Rangers battle “monsters”—actors in badly made plastic costumes and eventually unite their individual robots (don’t laugh) into one
super droid (ok, go ahead and laugh) to fight off one or more monsters and win the day.HAHAHAHA.
Specially, the Ranger costumes were made in random form so that no-name actors could come in and out of their multicolored roles with nary a change.
Whatever shape or form these wannabe “Avengers” come in—in truth they are all total losers. With a capital L.
In today’s film version of the Power Rangers, we return to the small California town of Angel Grove, a fictional suburb or Los Angeles, where we meet the first loser, Jason (Australian actor Dacre Montgomery, 23) an academic nonconformist who has totaled his family truck and is forced into high school detention —a form of after school punishment in which “students” are required to actually read and study their homework.
Oh, the horror! There he meets a bunch of other misfits, Kimberly (Naomi Scott, 23), Zach (Ludi Lin, 30), the hottie Trini (Becky G, 20) and Billy (RJ Cyler, 23), the oldest humans to ever attend high school.
These are, by far, the most heartless, short sighted, egotistical “children” you will ever encounter in mortality. Every one of them will eventually graduate high school to end up in prison (one can only hope) or flipping cheeseburgers at a local fast-food joint.
Instead, all five end up in a cave on the outskirts of Angel Grove, summoned there by a mysterious power, eventually to blow up part of the cave entrance.
Why they didn’t blow up their hands instead I’ll never know. Then they dive into a lake of water which has been there Lord only knows—only to enter
into a massive space ship (STOP LAUGHING!) and encounter a computer entity named Zordon (Bryan Cranston). Each five are granted super powers, that ugly little grey mask and a color scheme they can call their own.
They then strut in front of the movie cameras in their anatomically correct, form-fitting, skin tight—tights, jump into their own robot droid and leap into action.
I have to stop myself from laughing right now as my chest is starting to hurt.
Good grief. This has to be THE stupidest movie ever filmed! We, the audience, could not give a whiff if these “actors” were to be decapitated
by their perennial enemy Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks) who starts blowing up Angel Grove … just because.
I was rooting for Rita all the way!
The five unite to battle the big baddie and win the day — only until the director Dean Israelite (“Project Almanac”) and lead writer John Gatins (“Real Steele”) return with these self-same ageless high schoolers for the presumed sequel.
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