Connections

The more urban a city is, the less connected the people are. I’ve been to three different places in the last three weeks, and the “connection speed” between people did vary.

I currently live in Singapore and I hosted a house party in mid – December for fifteen guests. It was a night of catching up with friends and meeting new people.

The reactions to the invitations ranged from instant “Yes!” to “Oh my gosh, I’m so excited!” Wow, the enthusiasm floored me.

Later on, I realized that the reason for their excitement was the promise of an evening actual face-to-face, dynamic connection, which had declined since the use of text messaging and emails.

One of the guests shared that she had been trying and trying to make friends with her colleagues, but had been met with tepid responses. She had been trying for the last five years.

Yes, five years.

The day of the evening party arrived and the fifteen guests milled around, having wine and pasta and cake and chips, being fine and merry and laughing at themselves and with each other.

The guests were suitably impressed with the Jollibee fried chicken as well, with the Filipino and Korean guests waxing poetic about them.

New connections were made and I would dare say, fifteen more people felt more human and more alive after making such connections.

I flew to Cebu on Christmas Day and was met with a wondrous sight – a house full of about twenty people – all happily exchanging stories, eating and attempting to learn “Red Dog”.

The Christmas lunch had all of Cebu that I loved and missed: family and extended family that happily descend upon your house at a moment’s notice, familiar Christmas goodies, and decades – long relationships that will continue for many years.

It made me feel that I am connected to a timeless thread that spans will span generations. It made me feel rooted.

I travelled to Mambajao, Camiguin after New Year and was amazed at how natural it was for people to connect and encourage such connections.

I had become a “suki” at the neighborhood carinderia, and walked in to see two tourists eating on opposite tables.

When the young Spanish lady stood up to leave, the owner introduced her to the Italian man who was still finishing his meal. The owner couldn’t understand why two people, who had a lot to talk about, WEREN’T talking to each other.

The two tourists, initially embarrassed, very quickly compared notes on traveling to Bohol, Palawan, Sagada. They carinderia owner, her task done,s tepped aside, alhotugh shaking her head at their initial ambivalence.

“Nganong mag-inusara man uy?”

And on my last day, the young man at the airport security pointed to my drivers license and to his own ID.

We were related! I was floored.

Jason Evert, in his book Saint John Paul the Great : His Five Loves wrote that John Paul II “viewed each encounter as a divine appointment”.

Dear reader, I wish you many many divine appointments in the new year. May they inspire, change and strengthen you throughout this year.