Misgendering incident? Jude Bacalso’s ‘restaurant drama’ sparks online outrage

CEBU CITY, Philippines — The online world was buzzing on Monday morning, July 22, 2024, over an issue circulating online involving Cebu personality Jude Bacalso.

The issue has drawn attention due to Bacalso’s alleged behavior towards a waiter of a restaurant.

It was netizen John Calderon who posted a lengthy account on his Facebook page on Sunday, July 21, describing the incident in a restaurant in a Cebu mall.

READ MORE:

Jude Bacalso says sorry for Cebu resto waiter ‘sir’ incident

Remembering Aries: The boy in Cebu who loved the blue 10F jeepney

Single mom in Cebu: How she became a school’s ‘mother of hundreds’

According to Calderon’s post, a waiter was made to stand in front of Bacalso for about an hour and 49 minutes because the server mistakenly addressed the Cebuano personality as “sir.”

John’s post included photos of Bacalso, a writer, former TV personality, host in Cebu, and a proud member of the LGBTQIA community.

“I really thought tag-iya ka (you were the owner) and you were just discussing things with the employee so we shrugged it off then continue roaming around sa Ayala. Wala jud ko nahimutang (I felt uneasy) and I told my mom that it has been nearly 2 hours ingon ato ang pose sa server facing this guy namely Jude Bacalso. So ni-interfere ko (I interfered) and asked this guy Jude unsay nahitabo (what happened) if tag-iya ba sya or customer (he is the owner or a customer). The guy Jude sarcastically said na ‘Go ask him (referring to the server) what happened.’ Then I asked the server unsay nahitabo (what happened) and ingon sha (he said)  ‘Natawag nako shag sir.’ (I called him ‘sir’) then gibira nako ang (i pulled the) server ngadto sa ilang staff room (towards the staff room) then this server broke down into tears and mura shag ga (it was like he was having a) panic attack,” said John in his post.

This is John Calderon’s post:

Not the right way

Calderon said that if Bacalso was trying to educate the server, this was not the right way to do it.

“Bisan kinsa pa na, ma-pobre or ma-datu, wa kay katungod mu ingon ana kay tawo rana. Ikaw mismo kahibaw ka og asa ka gasugod dili ta mag hinilas,” he said in his post.

(No matter who you are, whether you’re poor or rich, you don’t have the right to do that because he’s still a person. You yourself know where you started, you’re not supposed to be nasty.)

Calderon said in the post that he wasn’t able to take a video because he was focused on the server who was in tears. He also noted that the restaurant was near the mall’s entrance, so many people saw the incident.

After the post went viral, Bacalso addressed the matter in a Facebook post.

“What transpired between me and the staff at a restaurant was a series of errors. Yes, I was addressed as sir. No, I did not scream or shout at the wait staff who did. My students call me sir and my nephews and nieces call me uncle, so it is no skin off my nose and it is funny to me that transphobes seem to think I am anguished by it. I am used to being misgendered, and if it is an honest mistake, I take that as an opportunity to educate,” said Bacalso.

A screenshot of Jude Bacalso’s post, which has since been deleted.

The post was deleted later.

But Bacalso did mentioned in that post that she informed the restaurant’s owners and management about the incident. She said she was friends with the owners.

She added that misgendering was especially significant for her because one of the owners is a beautiful transwoman, as she noted in her post.

She did not deny that the staff member stood for hours but clarified that she did not tell the waiter to do so.

“Did the staff stand there for hours? Yes, we were waiting to resolve it with the owners. Did I demand that he stand there as punishment? No. The supervisor was there when I discussed with the erring staff that perhaps a gender sensitivity seminar would benefit them. The supervisor acknowledged that this incident was a wake-up call to them and that they would welcome that opportunity,” Jude added.

CDN Digital reached out to Bacalso for her side and clarifications, but she has not yet responded.

Restaurant statement

Meanwhile, the restaurant quickly addressed the matter, posting two statements on their Facebook page following the incident. The restaurant said it is handling the incident internally.

Here are the statements:

 /clorenciana

READ: The nickname game and my postcards from Bali