Fear and idea

The last six months of the year made me realize the truth about fear.

Fear is non-biodegradable, a word which the Merriam-Webster dictionary scientifically describes as “not capable of being broken down by the action of living organisms.”

Perhaps it was because of the frequent travels I had, in which half of the time I got lost in cities and towns that I do not speak the language.

In those times, I usually let fear sit in and let it work its venom.

Later, I set it aside, pick up myself from the situation and ask a person or consult Google.

Or perhaps it was due to the fact that I reviewed more than 300 issues of Cebu Daily News from January 1 to December 31, 2017 (as part of Cebu Almanac of the University of San Carlos Press) and I kept associating the news articles about Cebu City’s garbage woes with the word “non-biodegradable.”

I fear so many things in this life. My strongest feeling of fear comes from worrying about being rejected. Rejection, or not being accepted, is a horrible state of being.

I have been rejected a hundred times in the past.

I thought it gets better with age or with time.

I thought as you grow older, you learn to manage rejection more.

But the blow is stronger when you mature especially when you have to keep your humility level in check.

When I decided to form Cebu Nanays for Nanays, an offshoot of the weekly Toddler Storytime sessions, I feared that the idea will not work because I am no Princess Diana.

I do not have millions to run the project.

But I have an idea.

The idea was to build a “community of caring mothers happily learning from each other.”

I envisioned a monthly gathering of women where we discuss a relevant topic under a specific theme.

It does not need to be grand. I do not need to invite famous speakers to talk about it. After all, I am in the company of mothers and mothers pretty much know everything.

The launching event happened last Thursday (June 28) at the Reading Room (former Cebu City Tourism Office) of the Cebu City Public Library.

There were 20 mothers and fathers from Barangay Capitol Site, who attended the talk on First Aid and Basic CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) shared by registered nurse and Red Cross volunteer Jonnah Codilla Maningo.

A parallel storytelling session happened at the Children’s Corner for their children with the library staff.

The support was overwhelming that even homegrown brand, MyJoy, extended free snacks for the parents, children and the library staff. We were even able to share the extra food to some street children.

I continue to fear about several things; fear after all is non-biodegradable, the kind that can be recycled. But I can love with that, I guess. I have lived with fear and I won’t be me if I am not scared.

Fear grounds me. It reminds me to be humble and to always keep my feet on the ground.