[Not Even] Until death do us part: A story of love beyond this lifetime

Myra and Delfin Bontuyan During their Church wedding on Aug. 8, 2008. | Photo courtesy of Myra Bontuyan

CEBU CITY, Philippines —They swore to love each other for a lifetime, not once but twice.

But for Myra Bontuyan, her promise of love to husband, Delfin, was more than just “until death do us part.”

Myra, 48, was only a college student when she met Delfin Bontuyan sometime around February 1988.

“I was studying Engineering at the University of San Carlos. The daughter of our landlady had us tagged along when she and some friends went to Talamban because there was a feast, I think,” Myra recalled their first meeting.

Myra said Delfin, who was already a member of the Philippine Constabulary (PC) at the time, suspected her of being under the influence of drugs because of her red eyes.

“Si Delfin naa siya sa Talamban. Niingon siya sa iyang kaila, ‘Kinsa man nang kuyog ninyo nga murag sabog man kaayo na.’ Ako iyang pasabot,” Myra said.

(Delfin was in Talamban at that time. He asked his friend, ‘Who are you with? She seems to be ‘high on drugs.’ He was referring to me.)

“Kadto nga time, gipiskat pa gyud ko ato. Puwa kaayo Akong mata unya hubag… Basin ug gigwapahan na siya nako atong tungora nga gipiskat pa gani ko,” Myra explained.

(At that time, I had sore eyes. My eyes were red and swollen … I think he saw me as a beautiful woman at that time despite my having a sore eyes.)

From that time on, Myra said Delfin had persistently courted her, consistently made her laugh with every joke he cracked.

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On July 27, 1988, Myra gave her ‘Yes!’ to Delfin who was seven years older than her.

“At the time I was shy to admit it to my classmates [that he was my boyfriend] because he was several years older than me. I also did not expect that it would really be us who would end up together,” Myra said.

Myra and Delfin’s love story matured over time. They tied the knot twice and vowed to love each other for life.

“We got married twice. The first was a civil wedding on October 23, 1995, and at the church on August 8, 2008,” Myra said.

Their love bore Christine Claire, their 24-year-old daughter, who is currently a law student and Sangguniang Kabataan chairperson of Barangay Talamban, Cebu City.

This year, 2020, Myra and Delfin were supposed to celebrate their 25th anniversary and say their vows once more… sweeter the third time around.

But on May 21, 2019, Delfin was taken from Myra and Christine in a bloody ambush in front of a mall in Barangay Mabolo, Cebu City.

Delfin was supposed to be on his way home from attending a court hearing of one of the cases he handled when he was with the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group in Central Visayas (CIDG-7). Delfin’s last assignment was in Sulu province.

Delfin was laid to rest on May 30, 2019.

Myra and Christine Bontuyan visit the tomb of Police Captain Delfin Bontuyan which is adorned with hearts and flowers for the Valentine’s Day. |Photo courtesy of Myra Bontuyan

For the past 270 days that Delfin has been laid to rest at the Angelicum Garden of Angels in Mandaue City, Myra and Christine did not miss a day in visiting the departed pillar of their family.

“We are so far from saying that we are already okay. We want to say that we would just accept his faith, but it is very difficult. Until now, I cannot believe that he is already here. We come here everyday like this has been part of our routine, but when we get home, it is when I realize that I no longer have him beside me,” Myra said.

Since Delfin passed away, Myra has not missed a day of putting on decorations around Delfin’s tomb for every occasion — may it be a family member’s birthday, anniversaries, or Christmas.

This Valentine’s Day, Myra poured her love for Delfin through the white and red roses and heart-shaped decorations that she surrounded his tomb with.

“Kini among gibuhat nga kada adlaw mi moanhi, tungod ni nga among gibalik niya kung unsa iyang gibuhat namo sa una nga kaayohan. Buotan man gud siya nga bana. Good provider,” Myra said.

(We visit here everyday because it is our way of giving back for the goodness and love that he had given us. He is a good husband. A good provider.)

“Siya na ang type nga bahalag maglakaw siya basta kay kami tarong ang among gisakyan,”she added.

(He was the type of man that would walk to his destination as long as we could reach our destination comfortably on a vehicle or a transport.)

For Myra, not even Delfin’s death could end the love that they promised to each other.

“Love gihapon nako siya. Bisan og asa man siya karon, kung duna pa’y beyond eternity, mao na na siya,” Myra said.

(I still love him. Wherever he is right now, if there is a thing called beyond eternity, then that is what I am feeling right now for him.)/dbs