Blues and reds

When we got the blues, we know it means we’re sad. But do you know the feeling when you have the mean reds?

Is there a difference between the blues and red?

The blues is when “you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. “

In the famous movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s ,  the mean reds was described as “a horrible.

Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. “ Have you ever gotten that feeling?

2006. When I was the only one among the Executive Board who failed to impress Top Management of my new year plans and I was told to repeat my report, the mean reds were all over me like the spots in a leopard. I carried them for a week. Shame, anger, frustration rolled as one with  my hurt pride. That was more than a horrible moment for me.

Rewind to 10 years before that. It was my first job in a big pharmaceutical company. I was into my 5th month of work. I was also six months pregnant. Before lunch time, my boss called me to this office and without batting an eyelash told me it was my last day of work. I froze. I couldn’t comprehend at all. Two days before that he congratulated me for a job well done over an annual report.

My initial reaction was not to feel sad and blue. Anger surged inside me as well as fear. I lost my job!  The mean reds overpowered my good sense. So I huffed and puffed from the HR office to the Vice President’s office with just one big question, “Why??”

To make the long story short, no one listened to me. Like a paper thrown into the garbage can, I went out of the company compound without eating lunch. Only when I reached home did the tears fall. The blues mixed with the reds.

I was sad because I felt unrecognized…a nobody after all I’ve worked on. I was angry because for me it was unjustified. And I was afraid because I was not sure if my husband and I can raise a family with only one income. I touched my big tummy and suddenly felt afraid for my unborn son.

But I would have two more children in the next four years. God did not forsake us. I got employed again, my husband was promoted and we were able to buy our own house and car. The children went to good schools.

I thought I wouldn’t have the mean reds anymore. But they returned in 1996. My husband died of cancer. I was unemployed again because I had been his caregiver. No income. Children were still small. House mortgage has to be paid etc. etc. etc. The horrible fear crept in again.

But that was 17 years ago. I survived. I’m still here. My children are all grown up. They graduated from high standard schools and have great careers. I still have my job for 7 years now and I just opened a new business. God is good!

We can get the mean reds at some point — whether it’s a gnawing, anxious feeling or a paralyzing phobia. Changes trigger the mean reds even if these are positive situations like marriage or promotion. Our joy may be coupled with fear of the unknown. “What’s next? Can I continue to succeed?”

But the Bible offers us the comfort and assurance. In it, God repeatedly, it always reminds us not to be afraid because there should be no fear if there’s love. And God is love.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.’’ (1John 14:18)

God always want us to be “ perfect… as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48). The mean reds may stir panic and fear in us but they cannot stay long. The formula to face our fears is to trust and love God who conquers even the meanest of the red and the deepest of the blues.

They may come back again and disturb us but again, not for long.  Faith and grace will break up.

Be confident in God’s care. He is peace. And that’s white color that should color our lives… not the blues or reds.