Relationships

Are you developing toxic traits?

CEBU CITY, Philippines — Admit it, nobody is perfect.

No matter how many times you deny it, you too will have toxic traits.

You don’t necessarily plan to develop one. Unfortunately, especially when you are not self aware, you develop those toxic traits unconsciously.

More often than not, we think and feel that these traits are normal and won’t do us or others any harm.

Right?

Wrong!

How to know if you have toxic traits or developing these harmful traits?

Read on.

Hard to say “no” 

There are times that we don’t want to say “no” to others fearing that they might get mad at us or we might hurt their feelings. But, consider this: how many time have you constantly said “yes” to a friend or family member without regard for your own feelings or schedule or resources. If the situation is just too much for you, then learn to say “no”. Saying “no” does not mean you are selfish; it also send the message that you are not always the go-to person for all charity cases. You need the space too; for your health, for your sanity.

Always feels the need to say ‘sorry’

When a situation goes the other way than planned, and it is not your faulty, stop yourself from constantly saying “sorry” about it. Unless, it’s really your fault. But if it’s not, STOP! It’s alright to feel sad but do not beat yourself up for it. There are moments in our lives that we can not control certain situations and how they turn out, and that’s totally fine. Always remember that we are all works in progress. Don’t say sorry when you are not at fault.

Not feeling you are enough

No matter how good you are at something, another person will always be better than you. In the same manner, that another person is better than the person who’s better than you. Get the picture? That’s just how life goes. Trust your own process and that no matter how cliched it may sound, always believe in yourself. You may not be the best employee today, but hang in there, you are enough to the people who know your hard work and dedication. Just keep going. If not, take it from Finding Nemo’s Dory, “just keep swimming.”

Being impatient

Life is not a race so trust your own pace. You will fail and that’s okay. You will compare yourself to others. You will feel that your career is not progressing faster than expected. In the midst of all these, it’s important to be patient. Always remember that everything happens for a reason and that your time will come. Slow progress is still progress, remember that.

Overthinking

Our mind is a powerful place. It can create scenarios and happenings that can poison our thinking. When you’re about to fall over the edge from all the negative thinking, STOP! It will only make you feel sad and down. Stop thinking about negative things that will not even happen in the first place. Burying yourself in negative thoughts is never healthy. Clear your mind. Stir clear of those dark thoughts.

If you think you have these traits, then better check your focus.

Focus on the things that would do you good, take slow steps in stirring away from these traits.

The more time you understand how to get these traits out of your system, the more you can appreciate the good and beauty that life has to offer. / celr

TAGS: are you developing toxic traits, CDN LIFE, relationships, say no, toxic traits
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