Relationships

Are you in a toxic relationship?

CEBU CITY, Philippines — Being in a relationship requires huge amounts of commitment and understanding.

When you choose to commit to a person, there should always be room for listening and compromise. If your partner is not open to this, then your relationship might be in trouble.

Instead of helping each other grow to become better persons, you may be stuck in a toxic and unhealthy relationship.

How can you tell if you are in one?

CDN Digital helps you detect the signs.

Full of lies. Lies of commission, omission, influence… it doesn’t matter. If your relationship is filled with lies, then it is time to review and reassess. The existence of lies means their is distrust. When trust is no longer there, doubt enters the scene. The relationship will feel like you are both walking on thin ice. It is only a matter of time before that ice cracks. If your relationship is full of lies, then it’s time to leave that ship.

Over demanding. You can’t go out with your friends because he wants to be around too. You can’t go to the movie alone because she needs to be there. You need to pick her up after school or you need to have the same hobbies with him. In short, you really have to do this and that because of him or her. If your every step is accounted for that you cannot breathe anymore, run for your life! Do not get stuck in a relationship that imprisons in a list of demands.

No privacy. We know that a committed relationship requires openness but it doesn’t mean that you have to report everything that you do. Do you really have to tell your girlfriend that you are about to use the bathroom or your combing your hair? You may be intimate but intimacy is not equivalent to ownership. You cannot be your office’s time attendance monitoring system. That’s annoying. It is not healthy for the relationship if you’re obligated to report your location and activity 24/7.

Hears but doesn’t listen. Hearing and listening are two different nouns. Hearing means the fulfilment of the auditory function. Your partner heard what you said. But listening means your partner understood what you said. Listening requires deeper caring and understanding. Often times, couple get into petty fights easily because no one listens anymore. You are just hearing each other out but you are not listening to work together for the relationship. You are too focused on winning your arguments and proving to each other who’s right. If this is a situation that has been recurring for some time, then give your relationship much thought.

No respect. What is respect in a committed relationship? When you respect a person, it means that you admire the person so you treat the person well. If your partner takes for you granted, then chances are respect is not there. How do you know that your partner is taking you for granted? When you just all the work and the person is not doing anything. If she doesn’t call you or if he uses his phone during dinner dates rather than talking to you — and these actions are repeated time and again then Houston, you definitely have a problem.

You should be very concerned when the relationship just gives you grief than the gift of joy. When the relationship is not making you happy anymore and it just gives you stress, don’t waste one more sweat in trying and making it work.

Sometimes the best way to stir clear of a toxic situation is to let it go. Think of the better things you can do rather than fighting day and night for a relationship that’s heading downhill anyway. / celr

TAGS: committed relationship, heartbreak, listening and compromise, relationships, toxic relationship
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