Keeping the love alive: Tips from those who have done it in decades
CEBU CITY, Philippines — Experienced people say it is easy to fall in love. But to stay in love is another story.
CDN Digital talked to a few Cebuano couples whose love has been tested and proven for decades.
With years of being together, how do they keep the love in their marriage alive?
Happily married to Lawyer Lourdes Barcenas for the last 52 years, Lawyer Democrito Barcenas could not overemphasize the importance of respect in a long-lasting commitment.
“The formula is simple and basic. There must be mutual love, respect, and devotion. Love one another. Do not love another one,” Lawyer Democrito Barcenas said.
For Sergio and Annecita Refugio, spending time together is of the essence in making the relationship grow and blossom over the years.
Respecting the decision of each other is also key.
“After 50 years of marriage our advice to the youngsters to keep love alive is always to respect each others’ decisions, always pray together, give time to each other specially that we are already of age kay hamubo na lang ang time sa atong kinabuhi (our lives now are shorter already),” they told CDN Digital.
“Talk always together, remember your younger days ug magkuyog bisan asa. Hatagan gyod og panahon ang usag usa. Mao ni panulti-on magkatiguwang magkaloving kanunay,” they said.
(Talk always together, remember your younger days and if possible always go together anywhere. You should give time for each other. This is where the saying would apply — as you grow olders, you should keep on loving each other always.)
Sergio and Annecita renewed their vows last Jan. 7, 2023.
Meanwhile, from the viewpoint of a Regional Trial Court judge, the recipe for keeping the love alive is in the counsels of a Lebanese-American philosophical essayist, novelist, poet, and artist Khalil Gibran in his poem ‘On Marriage.’
Judge Macaundas Hadjirasul believes that it is important to follow Gibran’s counsel saying: Drink from one cup, but don’t drink from each other’s cup.
“Don’t seek to be happy at the expense of the other. Quarrel if you must, then have a tea or coffee together, until very few or none is left to quarrel on. More importantly, be a good and empowering companion to each other,” he added.
Hadjirasul said he had been happily married to his wife for almost 27 years now.
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