Jude Bacalso incident: ‘Humiliated waiter’ left feeling distressed

Lawyer says his client, the waiter, isolated himself after the resto incident

Jude Bacalso and the waiter whom she reprimanded for misgendering her at a restaurant in Cebu City. | Contributed Photo [FILE PHOTO]

CEBU CITY, Philippines — The 24-year-old man, who waited on Cebu personality Jude Bacalso at a restaurant in Cebu City, experienced psychological distress due to her intimidating response when he mistakenly called her “sir.”

The young man was made to stand in front of Bacalso for almost two hours as she allegedly threw “insulting” remarks at him because of his error.

Scared to lose his first job, the waiter could only stay put and listen to Bacalso’s threats to have him fired.

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In an interview with CDN Digital, the young man’s lawyer Ron Ivan Gingoyon said that the incident caused his client to isolate himself.

CDN Digital is withholding the real name of the  complainant, as requested by his lawyer.

The waiter, Mark (not his real name), is a native of Palompon, Leyte.

He came to Cebu City alone and secured his first job as a waiter at a restaurant located in a mall to help his mother back home. He was living in Brgy. Tinago.

The incident, which has gone viral, happened at around 6:00 p.m. last July 21.

How it happened

In his affidavit, Mark said that he greeted Bacalso by saying “Hi, Sir. Good evening.”

The latter, however, complained about the slow service to which John apologized for.

Another server then came to take her order but she called for Mark again because she was offended by him calling her “sir.”

When Mark apologized but called her “sir” again, Bacalso replied by asking if he was stupid.

Bacalso then threatened to have him fired and said that she knew the owners of the restaurant, one of them also a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

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Despite Mark’s repeated apologies, Bacalso allegedly dismissed him and asked what she needed to change with her appearance to be called as “ma’am” instead.

Threat of termination

According to Gingoyon, the waiter was compelled to stand stiff because of the threat of termination. This was in contrary to Bacalso’s earlier statement that she did not force the waiter to remain standing.

Bacalso also allegedly told the waiter that they could stay like that until the mall closes.

After standing for almost two hours, Mark said that he collapsed and cried out of shame and fear inside the staff room.

Gingoyon said that Mark was not punished after the incident. Instead, he was allowed to take a paid leave of absence and was given food two times.

Nevertheless, the incident severely affected his ability to be functional and operational causing him to isolate himself out of humiliation.

Why he did not attend meeting

In fact, Mark chose not to attend the meeting set for the next day with Bacalso and the restaurant owners out of fear that they would gang up on him because Bacalso and the restaurant owners were friends.

He also was not ready to face his abuser, said Gingoyon.

Mark then quit his job because he felt that it was no longer a safe working environment.

On July 22, Bacalso made a post on Facebook saying that she had made a personal apology to the one crew member and store supervisor whom she met to discuss the incident.

However, she allegedly did not  reach out to apologize to Mark.

“[Her] Facebook posts were full of lies and braggadocio. And we will prove that in Court,” said Gingoyon.

Why he filed charges

He also said that Mark decided to file charges in pursuit of accountability as Bacalso not only humiliated and insulted him but also threatened him with termination.

On Wednesday, August 28, they filed charges of Unjust Vexation, Grave Scandal, Grave Coercion, Grave Threats, and Slight Illegal Detention against Bacalso at the Cebu City Prosecutor’s Office.

In addition, they also have an ongoing case at the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) against the restaurant involved as they were “negligent in their duties and responsibilities as employers.”

Gingoyon said that they had no safety officers or supervising manager who could have deescalated the situation.

As of this writing, Mark is still in isolation and is struggling financially after losing his job.

Traumatic stress reactions

The result of a psychological evaluation he took showed that he experienced traumatic stress reactions due to the incident.

Mark had crying episodes, avoided being seen in public out of fear and shame, had difficulty sleeping, and was anxious about his safety.

His fear worsened when the incident went viral all over social media, and he decided to deactivate his social media account.

Mark was recommended to undergo “trauma-focused psychoeducation aimed at addressing traumatic stress reactions.”

For those who may wish to extend any type of help for Mark, Gingoyon urged them to reach out to their law office.

As of this writing, CDN Digital has yet to receive a reply from Jude Bacalso for her comment on this development.