CEBU CITY, Philippines— When we were younger, we often get asked the question, “At what age do you want to get married?”
Some of us would say before we turn 30, while others would just shrug the idea of getting married.
But in recent years, men and women are taking their time in saying “I do.”
And that is completely okay.
What’s not okay is rubbing into the face of those who are single to get into a relationship, because time is running out.
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Is it really running out?
Most probably, it is not. But people would often connect being single into living a unhappy life, a lonely life.
Happiness is relative.
Bianca Gonzalez Intal and Nicole Anderson shared in this episode in Intal’s podcast, “Paano Ba ‘To” their thoughts on being single and being in a relationship.
This specific podcast episode is titled, “Kwentong Single.”
Intal posted a clip from their podcast in her Instagram account with the caption that reads.
“Hindi lahat ng may jowa, masaya, at hindi lahat ng single, malungkot. Aminin!! Together, let’s try to *move the needle* and change the narrative about single women and men.”
Agree?
In the reel, Intal said that the pressure comes from people inculcating in our minds that marriage or being in a relationship is so much better than being single.
This can be true for some. But not for everyone.
In this episode, Anderson and Intal highlighted that to be single is not a bad and sad thing.
It is only here in the Philippines where we hear people pressuring those single people to find a partner and those in a relationship to get married even when some of them are not even really ready yet.
“I guess lang the pressure comes from also when people think that, marriage or kids promise a happy life. But as we know, a lot of people even if they do get married or not even marriage. A lot of people na kahit may jowa don’t live a happy life. Mas masayp pa ‘yung single. So I wish that a lot of people would stop seeing being single as a, “dehado” thing because it’s clearly not,” said Intal.
Anderson also added that instead of looking at getting married as the end game or the final destination, why not look for meaning first before you think of settling down.
“And I try to tell my friends this recently. I hope you don’t wish on your friends and the people around you.. I hope you don’t wish for them to get married because that is not a signifier of happiness. I hope you wish for them to be happy,” said Anderson.
This reel on “Paano Ba ‘To” IG account is the first reel to hit 1 million views.
Goes to show that this topic is one of the most interesting topics of discussion out there.
And here’s one comment from the post that is very relatable to many single people.
“ I am grateful for this. I am a 31 year-old single lady and because I live like this, some people would always say, ‘kawawa ka naman pag tanda mo, walang mag-aalaga sayo, mag-asawa kana kasi, mas masaya ang may asawa’. Most of the time, I would just shrug it off kasi kahit ako, di ko rin naman alam bakit hindi ako makapag-asawa or bakit walang gumugusto saakin. On top of that, I am not even lonely. I am happy that I can do things on my own and live life, independently. I don’t find life MORE DIFFICULT because I am single. Ironically, I find my life more livable and at ease because I only fend for myself and not for other people who make actual comments about how I live my life. However, I also don’t blame them for staying in toxic relationships, I just find annoying how they make comments about mine when clearly, they can’t figure out theirs, yet. To be clear, I am happy for those that are happily married and have kids, but I also think that family life is not for everyone. Thank you!.”
Bianca Gonzales Intal and Nicole Anderson remind us that happiness doesn’t depend on being in a relationship. Their conversation in the “Kwentong Single” episode encourages us to stop pressuring people to get married or settle down.
Whether you’re single or not, what matters is finding your own path to happiness. Being single isn’t a problem, it’s just another way to live a fulfilling life.
