Social media motivates people to report their philandering partners — psychologist

A psychologist says that social media is one of the factors why a wife or a husband will report his or her philandering partner to authorities. | Inquirer.net stock photo

CEBU CITY, Philippines — These days, there have been reports about wives or husbands pressing charges against their ‘cheating’ partners.

A local clinical psychologist explains to CDN Digital some factors that drive them to report their philandering partners.

READ: Wife catches husband with mistress in Mandaue hotel

Social media

Women

Dr. Anna Kathrina Oaminal-Watin thinks that it has “something to do with social media.”

“Like for example, when you see it in the social media that the same scenario is happening. So, when it happens to a woman, you also get to see, ‘Ah, this is something that has been done before’ so they are also likely to do the same,” Dr. Oaminal-Watin said.

She added that also for the past years, with the aid of social media, almost everyone had been in social media, a lot of people’s decisions, actions, and behaviors had been usually influenced by what they would see in social media.

READ: Wife in Carcar to cheating husband: I will never forgive you; concubinage case filed

She said that in the old times, a woman was always told, “Bahalag mag antos basta masantos.”(It does not matter if you suffer as long as you become a saint.)

With this, she thinks that gone are the days where a woman would follow on that mantra.

“Women already know their rights and knowing their rights, they would already assert the rights and also because they know that they can get support from people especially the law enforcers,” she said.

The psychologist also commends the “efforts of the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) and some non-government organizations that have been promoting the rights of women.

READ: Husband determined to file adultery charges against wife caught with lover in Compostela inn

Men

Dr. Oaminal-Watin has also seen “men reporting about their wives” who are cheating.

She said that it was also because of the same thing: it happened in social media.

“You see it (in social media), so you get to see also what can be done. What support will you be getting from people,” she said.

READ: CHEATING CAUGHT: Married sales girl, lover arrested for adultery in Toledo City

She added that men would also be advocating and would also be asserting their rights just like women.

“Karon (Now), not just on the awareness, not just on the change of thoughts of people that you should assert your rights but this is the time where people are more aware of their rights. They already know the law,” she said.

READ: The impacts of cheating? A psychologist’s take on adultery

Asserting rights, awareness

Moreover, Dr. Oaminal-Watin said that people now would be “very particular” with asserting their rights.

“Gone are the days of mag antos (suffering) and keeping it (away from the) public…you may have noticed before, when things happened in the family, you want to keep it private but now everything is in social media,” the psychologist said.

She said that when people would have a problem, they would share it on social media.

“People would want to assert their rights. Dili na gusto magpatamak (They would not want to be stepped on),” she noted.

READ: How to move forward from being cheated on

Support from social media

“For example, a wife. Iyang bana naay uyab. Di ba i-post niya sa social media and then the comments [will be like] ‘Go ahead, girl. Fight for it’ so you get the support of people,” she said.

(For example, a wife. Her husband has a girlfriend. She will post it in social media right? and then the comments [will be like] ‘Go ahead, girl. Fight for it’ so you get the support of people.)

Moreover, it is also because people will think that it is like a “group think.”

“It’s like a group think like ‘If this happens, what you are supposed to do?’”she said.

Because of this, there have been more people reporting to the police about their philandering wives or husbands.

READ: Marital infidelity is punishable under the law – SC

A form of punishment

The psychologist believes that this is also a way of punishing their cheating partners.

“The [punishment] now is dili lang diretso nga mo-file ka og case [not to directly file a case] but then it’s also punishing people in the social media,” she said.

She said that people already had behaviors that had been shared on social media.

READ: Adultery raps lodged vs 2 cops

Dr. Oaminal-Watin also said that these days, some people had been sharing their problems on social media like on TikTok, discussing publicly on the struggles they had experienced.

“Maabot sad ang panahon nga (Time will also come) from a very private perspective [where] things should be private especially personal lives…I think later on, it will come a time an era also where people would take a look on whether some things would have to be kept private,” she said.

She said that for now, everyone was in the era where people would tend to post their matters or concerns in public.

READ: A priest’s take on why adultery happens: It’s a symptom of a bigger problem

She said that before doing something, people should ask themselves, “Is it legal? Is it beneficial” because it might “backfire” on them.

Meanwhile, she also believes that in the “next era” people will be more careful.

This would be why she said that “people should also think on the consequences of every action” because in social media, once posted, it would be difficult to take it back as it would spread quickly.

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